‘Bells’
Season 1, Episode 7 - Aired November 29, 2011
Jess regrets bringing her troubled-youth musical group back to the apartment when Winston joins the group. Meanwhile, Nick feels belittled by Schmidt because he doesn't have the money to hire a professional plumber.
Quote from Nick
Jess: Before you make your decision, I'd only need you till the concert on Sunday.
Winston: [bell dings] I don't know, I think I could be into this.
Jess: Yay!
Nick: And with that statement, he never had sex again.
Quote from Nick
Nick: Oh, what, a plumber? You plan it this way? Just to rub my face in it?
Schmidt: Yes, I wanted to rub your face in our working toilet.
Nick: Great. Well, that working toilet I will never use.
Schmidt: You're never gonna go to the bathroom again?
Plumber: Oh, you're the soda bottle guy.
Nick: Yeah.
Plumber: That was actually pretty smart.
Nick: Thank you! Thank you.
Quote from Jess
Jess: That was off the hammer! [chuckles] The hammer in the bell. [sing-songy] Tough crowd.
Quote from Jess
Jess: [deep monotone voice] I am a robot Trying to play the bells Don't judge me, cause I can't Think at all, I just Like to play the bells.
Quote from Schmidt
[Nick wakes up with a sticky hand, his bed covered with thawing food]
Nick: What...?
Schmidt: I paid for the freezer, so, you know.
Nick: I'm gonna kill you.
Quote from Winston
Winston: Focus. Are you focused? Okay, what's the song about? Hector?
Hector: Hanging tough. Staying hungry.
Krystal: A man and his will to survive.
Winston: Are you brown-nosing me?
Krystal: Yes, I am. You're so cool.
Winston: Where are your eyes?
Kids: On the tiger.
Quote from Winston
Winston: No! No, no, no, no! Are you kidding me? It is not that hard, people. It is an instrument that a cat wears around its neck.
Jess: Okay, you know what, I think they did a pretty great job, considering the fact that they've only played it, like, eight times.
Winston: Well you're wrong, okay You thought wrong, Jess. You know why? Because I'm out here right now by myself in the cold. I got no support.
Hector: Maybe we're just not good enough.
Jess: No, you are good enough. This is not your problem, this is Mr. Bishop's problem.
Winston: [vocalizes] Pah Rest. Pah-pah-pah Rest. Pah-pah-pah Rest. Pah-pah-pah... Rest. Pah. Can you hear it? It's a very famous song.
Quote from Winston
Winston: And what are you laughing at, WNBA? This is what you look like. [mumbling nonsensically] You look like you're fighting off a shark.
Quote from Jess
Jess: I'm gonna make you guys a pitcher of my famous virgin Sangria.
Krystal: Isn't that just juice?
[As Jess opens a kitchen cupboard, the door falls off]
Jess: This has to stop! It's not my war!
Quote from Nick
Nick: Come on, Schmidt! You little rich boy sissy! Come on! Who you gonna hire to fight me, boy?! Stop running! Stop running, Schmidt! You want it so bad, you got it!