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Bells

‘Bells’

Season 1, Episode 7 -  Aired November 29, 2011

Jess regrets bringing her troubled-youth musical group back to the apartment when Winston joins the group. Meanwhile, Nick feels belittled by Schmidt because he doesn't have the money to hire a professional plumber.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Enjoy the couch. I bought that, too. [Nick gets up and sits on the floor] Enjoy the rug, too ... paid for that. Organic woven. [Nick gets up] What are you doing? What are you doing? [Nick unplugs the TV] Oh, come on, man.
Nick: Well, I stole the cable!
Schmidt: And my Bar Mitzvah was an amazing event! [Nick slams the door] The theme was sports jams.

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Quote from Nick

Schmidt: What is that, man?
Nick: I'm sorry. I put your couch and your freezer in your room, Schmidt. Yeah, I didn't want to get my poor on them.
Schmidt: I got to get in there, man. I'm a mess. I have to go to a networking event later. Scott Caan is speaking!
Nick: Ugh, would you listen to yourself?

Quote from Jess

Winston: I'm sorry, Jess, but I really don't care.
Jess: You know what, I love running this group. It gives me confidence, it gives me muscle definition. Yes, sometimes it gives me blinding optical migraines where I literally can't see three feet in front of myself. But I love these kids. And I'm sorry I kicked you out of group, but one thing you can't do with these kids is make it about you.
Winston: Jess, I don't see what the big deal is, okay? I only practiced with you guys a couple of times.
Jess: You're such a tonkel!
Winston: Whoa, hold it! Don't nobody call me a tonkel.
Jess: If you tell them they aren't good, that's one more person telling them that. That's a big deal to me, making sure no one else gives up on them. Even if they sound like a guy covered in bells falling down a staircase that's also made of bells. I know you've had a hard month, I know you don't have a job, but, God, they're just kids. Also, what happened to the refrigerator and the sofa? Did we get robbed by giants?

Quote from Nick

Nick: You know what sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you for way too long. They've got too much on you.
Winston: Yep.
Nick: I want friends who still lie to me, 'cause they don't want to hurt my feelings.
Winston: Mm.
Nick: I sadly kind of mean that.
Winston: What happened to us, man? We used to be so cool. I was going to play basketball and be a gazillionaire. [chuckles]
Nick: Right. And I told myself I was never going to live with Schmidt.
Winston: Who do you live with now?
Nick: I live with Schmidt, and he's killing me, Winston, he's killing me.

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: You know I don't think you're a loser, right?
Nick: I can't hear anything you say when you wear that sweater, Schmidt. You open your mouth and I just hear: "Cardigan, cardigan. I am wearing a cardigan."

Quote from Nick

Jess: I'm so sorry, you guys, I should have told you, but the community center decided to turn our rehearsal space back into a hallway, so... I had nowhere to go.
Schmidt: Is this something that a mean, creative judge made you do?
Nick: Yeah, this is just like a nightmare I had where you brought over teenagers with bells.
Jess: These kids had a choice between early morning detention and music, and they all chose music.
Nick: No kidding?

Quote from Schmidt

Jess: Desiree, bells are not for hitting. The kids wanted to play band instruments, but we got a huge donation of handbells, which are tres tres dope.
Desiree: Miss Day, can I eat some of these crackers up in here?
Schmidt: No, no, no. Water crackers are for adults... to eat with adult cheese.
Desiree: Can I eat a cracker sushi sandwich?
Schmidt: No. Jess.

Quote from Jess

Winston: So what, you guys are gonna sit around all night playing "Jingle Bells"?
Jess: "Jingle Bells" is a trash song played on a trash instrument, and I'm not really asking permission, I'm giving you a heads-up. [laughs] Well, that got serious.

Quote from Jess

Jess: Big finish, and... we're out. I'm so proud of you. That's what it feels like to play a song sort of together. Bring it in. In. Yes. Ensembell!
All: Ensembell!

Quote from Schmidt

Jess: [to Winston] Whoa. You're amazing!
Schmidt: Goose pimples. Look. Each one... a memory.

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