Lieutenant Disher Quote #302

Quote from Lieutenant Disher in Mr. Monk Gets Hypnotized

Captain Stottlemeyer: What the hell is this? "Disher-Mint"?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, I made it myself.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You made the gum?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, from a kit. I got it online. In my basement, I'm experimenting with a bunch of different flavors right now. Guess what this one is.
Natalie: Tar?
Lieutenant Disher: No, it's supposed to be diet blueberry. [Stottlemeyer gags] Is there too much citric acid?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, hell. Where'd it go?


 ‘Mr. Monk Gets Hypnotized’ Quotes

Quote from Adrian Monk

Lieutenant Disher: All right, well she told some paramedic that she loosened one of those baseboards. She pretended to be asleep. When he came back to check on her. Bam. Side of the head. [Monk laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of us?
Adrian Monk: I can see his butt.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, the man is dead.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, of embarrassment! Sorry. I've got it. Here's what happened. Tuesday night, Larkin abducted his wife from that parking lot. He overpowered her. Maybe he drugged her. Then, he brought her up here. He kept her prisoner. For three days, he taunted her. He humiliated her. Something about some jewelry. He- He even refused to feed her. But last night he went a little too far. In all the excitement, his pants fell down. He killed himself. He didn't have a choice. She'd seen his hiney. [laughs]
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think we're done here.

Quote from Adrian Monk

Dr. Lawrence Climan: We are going to take a little trip together, you and I. We are going back in time. Going back before the pain. Before the fear.
Adrian Monk: Before the fear.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Good. You're with Trudy now.
Adrian Monk: No, no! Trudy. I'm gonna lose her again. I'm gonna lose her again!
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Okay, okay. We're moving on. We're- We're- We're moving back a little further. Now, you're in high school.
Adrian Monk: It's third period. It's gym class. They're gonna make me climb that rope. I can't climb that rope.
I can't, please don't make me climb that rope.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Okay, okay, no, no. We're moving back, moving back. Further back. Way back. Before the fear. Here we go. We are going back. [Monk smiles] Is that a smile? Are you happy? [Monk nods] Adrian, where are you? Where are you?

 Lieutenant Randy Disher Quotes

Quote from Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion

Lieutenant Disher: Captain? I tracked down Kalimarakis. I don't think he's our guy. Number one, it turns out he was allowed to join the Olympic swim team as an alternate. He, uh, got a waiver.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So there's no motive.
Lieutenant Disher: Right. Number two, he's dead. He died in 1995. And number three, he moved to Europe in the late '80s. So there's no record of him ever returning-
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy. Randy, excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt you but could you read number two again?
Lieutenant Disher: Okeydoke. He's dead.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Right. See, I probably would have stopped reading after number two. In fact, I would have read number two first.
Lieutenant Disher: You would have switched 'em?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. But that's just me. And probably every other adult on the planet Earth.

Quote from Mr. Monk Is the Best Man

Lieutenant Disher: So who's on your short list?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I've been at this all morning. Most of these guys are either in jail or dead.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, or both.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. Nobody is both.