Adrian Monk: Oh, it's driving me crazy. How did he do it?
Natalie: Who?
Adrian Monk: Harold! Did you see him? He looked so not unhappy. And he wasn't acting, either. I could tell.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt you. But this guy says that, he never left the house. That he was here all night.
Adrian Monk: He's lying. What if it really works?
Natalie: What? What, hypnotism? Mr. Monk, just because Harold seems to be doing a little better doesn't mean it'll work for you. I mean, everybody's different. Especially you.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Excuse me again, sorry. How do we know he's lying?
Adrian Monk: The umbrella. Look, maybe it's real. It says "certified."
Natalie: What does that mean? Certified by who?
Adrian Monk: Whom.
Natalie: Whom. Mr. Monk, I just read this article on hypnotism. It's not even medical. It's a short cut.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Sorry, excuse me, one more thing. What about the umbrella?
Adrian Monk: Well, the green one on the end. It's monogrammed, it's obviously his. It's still wet from the rain.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Right, thank you.

Dr. Lawrence Climan: Adrian, I need you to relax.
Adrian Monk: Okay.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: I think you could do better than that. Here, I need you to get comfortable, okay?
Adrian Monk: Yeah.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: I need you to un-clench. I need you to open every door. Open every door. There. Okay. What are you thinking about?
Adrian Monk: Harold Krenshaw.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: Okay, okay. Forget about Harold Krenshaw. He doesn't exist.
Adrian Monk: He doesn't exist.
Dr. Lawrence Climan: He doesn't. He doesn't exist. I know. I know you have doubts. You're a skeptical man. But you came to me for a reason. You have to make a leap here. Uh-huh. Leap, and a net will appear.
Adrian Monk: Who's Annette?
Dr. Lawrence Climan: No, a net, to catch you.

Natalie: What do you think?
Dr. Bell: I think you should have called me. Hypnotism is no substitute for real treatment. I am aware of this Dr.
Climan. I've been cleaning up his messes for years.
Adrian Monk: I told him not to call that guy. I made him promise.
Lieutenant Disher: Can't you just... [clicks fingers] You know, snap him out of it, doc?
Dr. Bell: It doesn't work like that, Lieutenant. Even if I could I wouldn't recommend it. It might trigger some deeper depressive reaction. He's returned to an earlier ego state. Emotionally, he's about six and a half, seven years old.
Lieutenant Disher: Is he reliving his childhood?
Dr. Bell: Not at all. No, he's living the childhood he always wanted. You might call it a, wish fulfillment.
Adrian Monk: We're outta syrup! We're outta syrup!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Natalie, he couldn't live like this forever, right?
Dr. Bell: No, of course not. No, not like that. But the good news is, at some deeper level, Adrian knows that too. Eventually, he'll snap himself out of it. Don't worry. He'll come back to us.
Adrian Monk: We have a syrup emergency here! Grenade!
Dr. Bell: Hey, good shot!

Sally Larkin: I always knew Aaron was crazy, but I- I never dreamed that he would... [sobs] I mean, three days in that horrible room.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You know, you could do this tomorrow, if you'd like. [Monk flicks a pencil at Sally]
Sally Larkin: No, thank you, I would just rather get it over with today.
Lieutenant Disher: Okay, all right. What- What did he say? What did he want?
Sally Larkin: He was just acting crazy, asking me about my jewelry. I hid most of it. He just wanted to know where I kept it. And I know that as soon as I told him where it was, he would've killed me.
Adrian Monk: She's a liar. [blows raspberries] There is no way she spent three days in that cabin. No way.
Lieutenant Disher: And why not?
Adrian Monk: There's no TV, so it's impossible. She would have died.

Adrian Monk: What's the matter with short cuts? Short cuts are your friend. They get you where you wanna go. Only faster.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, we need to call Dr. Bell.
Adrian Monk: Ah, All Dr. Bell wants to do is talk. Here's Dr. Bell. "Blah, blah. "Tell me about your mother. Yack, yack, yack. "How does that make you feel? Words, words, words."
Natalie: That's your impression of Dr. Bell?
Adrian Monk: I'm sick of talking. I've been talking for 11 years. I want to get better. I wanna look at rainbows, and...
Natalie: I know you do, Mr. Monk. I know you do. But this is the thing: we don't know anything about this guy. We don't even know if he's a real doctor. Promise me. Promise me you will not call him until we talk to Dr. Bell.
Natalie: Promise.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, all right.

Natalie: Mr. Monk, it's pretty high up. You might wanna stay in the car.
Adrian Monk: Do I have to?
Natalie: Do you have to? No. You're the boss.
Adrian Monk: It's such a nice day. Might be fun to run around.
Natalie: You wanna run around?
Adrian Monk: Oh, there's the Captain. Come on!

Captain Stottlemeyer: Terrain's a little rough. Try to stay in formation. Eyes forward and down.
Lieutenant Disher: We're looking for anything unusual. Signs of a struggle, freshly dug dirt, articles of clothing.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Any questions?
Adrian Monk: Yeah, what do we win?
Captain Stottlemeyer: What do we win?
Adrian Monk: If we find the body.
Lieutenant Disher: You don't win anything. Right?

Adrian Monk: Everybody, I got something!
Lieutenant Disher: What is it?
Adrian Monk: Okay, but I saw it first.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You saw it first? Who the hell cares?
Adrian Monk: I care. That's who.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, so you saw it first. What is it?
Adrian Monk: Okay, but here's the rule: you guys can't touch it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I understand. We're all cops here.
Adrian Monk: I can touch it. Natalie can touch it. Just me and Natalie, and nobody else. See? [holds a forg] I'm gonna- I'm gonna call him Hoppy. Because he likes to, you know, hop. Isn't there a shoe box in your car? That could be Hoppy's house. Let me go get it. Let me go get it.

Adrian Monk: I have a frog. It's in the car.
Doris: Really?
Adrian Monk: Is it your birthday?
Doris: Yes, it is.
Natalie: Happy birthday.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, congratulations.
Doris: Thank you.
Adrian Monk: How old are you?
Natalie: Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Are you over or under 100?
Natalie: What are you doing?
Doris: I'm 57.
Natalie: You look great.
Adrian Monk: 57, wow. 57. So you're really getting up there.
Doris: Well, I wouldn't say that.
Adrian Monk: I would.

Aaron Larkin: I'm sorry to keep you waiting. So have you heard anything?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Not from your wife. We've spoken to a number of local merchants, however.
Lieutenant Disher: Apparently she was, trying to sell some jewelry.
Aaron Larkin: Well, that's. That's unusual. Normally, she's buying.
Adrian Monk: Guess how old she is.
Doris: I think I'm gonna take my break.
Aaron Larkin: Yeah, sure.
Adrian Monk: Do you have to make?
Natalie: Make what?
Lieutenant Disher: Is he drunk?