Claire: I saw the need for a s- [buzzer sounds] What?
Luke: Sorry. Accidental buzz.
Claire: I saw the need for a stop sign in my neighborhood, and although I collected the necessary signatures and did the paperwork, I found local government to be entirely unhelpful- [horn honks] What?
Haley: Too long. I'm bored.
Luke: Yeah, next question. I feel like I'm in school.

Alex: Some say the political system is bogged down by ideological hard-liners unwilling to compromise. How would you respond to that, councilman Bailey?
Phil: I would like to use my lifeline.

Claire: I'll take this. If elected, I would consider all perspectives, and I would not ignore opposing viewpoints.
Phil: [making sound] Helicopter. Just keep going.
Claire: I would consider all perspectives, and I wouldn't ignore opposing-
Luke: You suck!
Claire: Luke!
Luke: You have to be ready for hecklers.
Phil: He's right.
Claire: Okay. I'm doing over. No buzzing. If elected, I- [Phil makes a noise] What?
Phil: Too close to the mic.
Claire: Phil, it's a hairbrush.

Claire: Okay! Okay. Thank you. Thank you, family. This has been super-duper helpful.
Haley: [horn honks] Hands, lips, sarcasm, eye-rolling, wrong side of the face.

Mitchell: I cannot believe you laughed!
Cameron: I am sorry. But you know I have two weaknesses: children cursing and old people rapping.

Claire: Phil? Phil, is this televised?
Phil: I didn't tell you because I didn't want to make you nervous.
Claire: Great plan. Really good plan. Throw me for a curveball at the last minute.
Alex: Mom, chill. It's just public access. My debate team's on public access, and the only people who watch me are you guys.
Phil: Yep. All the time.

Claire: So maybe nobody will see this?
Phil: No. We want people to see this. That's how you win elections. That's the whole point.
Lily: Then mom should do something so crazy and stupid it goes viral.
Haley: Mom, please don't go viral.
Claire: Okay. I'll add that to my list of things not to do: don't touch my face, don't roll my eyes, don't point my fingers, and definitely don't go viral. Do any of you still believe in me?
Phil: Of course we do. We're on your side.
Luke: The right side. Not the left.

Jay: Go get 'em, Claire.
Claire: Thanks.
Gloria: Don't worry. We're going to cheer for you no matter what you say.
Claire: Oh, good. More support from my loving family.
Phil: Honk. Sarcasm.

Gloria: So now this is my fault?
Jay: I think he knows what he's talking about. The man won a puggly.
Duane: Two. I won two pugglies.
Jay: We're done here.

Cameron: Lily, that is a bad word, and you are not allowed to say it ever.
Lily: But it makes you laugh.
Mitchell: Okay, well, daddy shouldn't be laughing, and you should never say that word. Do you understand?
Lily: Maybe.
Mitchell: Okay. This is not a game, all right? If you say that word one more time, I'm gonna take away all your toys! I'm serious! She knows I'm not serious.