‘Little Bo Bleep’
Season 3, Episode 13 - Aired January 18, 2012
The family try to help Claire iron out her "flaws" ahead of a debate with Duane Bailey for the town council seat. Mitchell and Cameron are worried about a new addition to Lily's vocabulary on the eve of her being a flower girl. Meanwhile, Jay is alarmed when Stella keeps jumping into the pool.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: The door. Ay! Estella, no! No! Ay! No! No! Estella, don't do it! Don't kill yourself! You are a perfectly fine dog! I don't hate you! Estella, okay, I was a little mean to you, but that's no reason to kill yourself! You are young! You still have so much left to smell!
Quote from Gloria
Cameron: Where have you guys been?
Gloria: I had to jump in the pool to save the stupid dog.
Jay: Who she loves.
Gloria: That I didn't let her down doesn't mean that I love her. I barely got Manny back in the pool after that possum incident.
Manny: I thought it drowned, but turns out it was just playing possum.
Gloria: Yes, papi. [mouthing]
Quote from Phil
Claire: Well, I just don't think it's a big deal. I mean, how many people read the "Weekly"-
Haley: "Saver"?
Claire: -"Saver," anyway?
Phil: 22,000-ish. My company advert- Used to advertise with that newspaper.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Sweetheart, you're not unlikable.
Claire: Thank you.
Phil: You just seem unlikable.
Claire: Ohh.
Phil: But if we work on it, it's totally fixable.
Claire: How? How, Phil? How are we gonna "work on it"?
Phil: First of all, lose the snippy attitude.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: Hey, Lily! Come here, honey! Hi! Do you know what this is?
Lily: A box.
Mitchell: Containing?
Cameron: She doesn't know "containing."
Mitchell: Well, that's how she learns new words, by us using them.
Cameron: Or, that's how we lower her self-esteem, by bombarding her with confusing vocabulary.
Lily: What's the box containing?
Mitchell: Told you.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: Oh!
Lily: Pretty!
Mitchell: Oh, no, Cam-- Cam, she's gonna look like little bo peep.
Cameron: Or little bo cheap. Look at this fabric. It's already pilling.
Mitchell: Maybe it'll look better on.
Cameron: You mean "turned on?"
Mitchell: No, it does not--Cam! Oh!
Lily: I love it!
Mitchell & Cameron: No, you don't.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: Oh, my gosh. Are we really gonna let her wear this?
Mitchell: You know what? If the bride wants to have a tacky wedding, she can have a tacky wedding. Lily will be the bright spot.
Cameron: Literally.
Mitchell: Heard it as soon as I said it.
Quote from Claire
Alex: Welcome, candidates. Mrs. Dunphy.
Claire: Thank you for having me.
Alex: And councilman Bailey.
Phil: Gosh, thank you so much, Alex. I'm deeply honored to be here, and I remain, as ever, a humble servant to the greatest little town in the greatest darn--
Luke: [buzzer sounds] Eye-rolling.
Claire: Playful eye rolling.
Haley: How do we, as voters, know it's playful? I would avoid it.
Claire: Okay. No eye rolling.
Haley: [horn honks] And don't purse your lips like that. It makes you look annoyed.
Luke: [buzzer] And don't touch your face.
Haley: Yeah, no face touching. Seems nervous.
Claire: Some of this is subjective. What? What now?
Luke & Haley: Anger.
Haley: It looks like you're scolding us.
Claire: I will keep my hands at my sides.
Phil: Not on your hips. You're not Superman.
Quote from Claire
Alex: Can we get started?
Claire: We haven't started?
Alex: I've prepared some questions.
Claire: Oh, goody! Actual questions.
Phil: Honk. Sarcasm.
Claire: Just go.
Quote from Phil
Alex: Okay, Mrs. Dunphy, why are you running for local office?
Claire: Okay, that's, um, that's good. I um, I-
Alex: Mom, you really shouldn't stutter over a basic question like that. You should at least know why you're running.
Claire: I thought the moderator was supposed to be objective.
Alex: Not if she's the only one in the room who has actual debate experience. Now why are you running?
Claire: I saw the need for a stop sign in-
Phil: Liar!
Claire: Phil!
Phil: I just think you should be ready for anything.