Claire: [aside to camera] I immediately pulled that muscle that runs from the top of your head down to the bottom of your feet. The truth is, between work and not wanting to workout, I hadn't worked out that much.

Phil: Welcome to the jungle, Claire. Monkey see, monkey d- Ow!
[aside to camera:]
Phil: My first thought was that I had been shot in both shoulders. Here's the thing: while Claire works out, I do go to the basketball court, but, uh, for epic robot battles.

Mitchell: Oh, my God, that was such a rush. I imagine that's what it feels like to punch a guy or or catch a ball while running.

Jay: And this is the sauce maven herself, my wife, Gloria.
Gloria: Very nice to meet you.
Nicole: Oh, I love your accent. You know, I was up for the role of El Chapo's mistress.
Gloria: Oh, I did not see that movie.
Nicole: What movie?

Jay: And so, these peppers are the heart of Gloria's sauce. But this is the finished product, of course the Salsa Atomica.
Nicole: Mmm! Peppery!
Jay: She has a sophisticated palate!
Nicole: Mmm! I can feel the healing.
Jay: Maybe that's why you're glowing. Am I crazy or is she glowing? Totally glowing!

Nicole: Gloria, I notice that you're really kind of quiet. Is that a vitamin D thing? 'Cause we have socks that can address that.
Gloria: No, I'm just you know, it's hard for me to sell this. It's been in my family for five generations.
Jay: Most of them had kids at 15.
Gloria: Things were not always easy in my village. But the one thing that we could always count on was the sauce made from this blend of magical Colombian peppers. Well, maybe it was just the way the water came down the mountain and curved around our family farm.
Nicole: I love mountains and curves.
Haley: So NERP!

Gloria: You know, I remember my grandmother cooking for me every Sunday. I would hold on to her apron and follow her around the kitchen while she prepared her sauce. She would hold out the spoon to me and say, "Taste this. It's your familia."
Nicole: I feel like NERP is my familia.
Haley: Yeah, we were all here on Christmas.
Gloria: Maybe it is the right time. My abuela is gone. My great aunts are all gone. They straightened the river.
Nicole: NERP can re-curve it.
Gloria: Maybe it is the time to say "Goodbye" to the one thing that is a real connection to...
Jay: You're not saying "Goodbye" to anything. This deal is done!

Jay: Honey, you've got to cut yourself some slack. Do you know how many ideas I had to dump because they weren't working? I was a silent partner of a professional Jai Alai league.
Gloria: With the ball and the scoopy thing?

Haley: You guys! What was that?! Now I'm never gonna get my own bean bag chair.
Gloria: No, it's gonna be fine. We want to sell now.
Haley: It's too late. She's moved on. Nicole doesn't give second chances. Mostly because that's the name of a failed rom-com she made with Andrew McCarthy.
Jay: That's where I've seen her before!

Jay: Listen, this isn't over. I've had my back against the wall before. Denver, Closet-Con, '97. I had a warehouse full of cedar shelves. A storm blew in over the Rockies
Gloria: You sold the closet, I get it. Let's go up there.
Jay: There's a whole story here.