‘A Stereotypical Day’
Season 8, Episode 2 - Aired September 28, 2016
Jay worries about giving the African-American family across the street the wrong impression when he installs security cameras the same day they move in. Following his trip to Mexico, Manny has taken up the cause of communism to impress a girl. At the Pritchett house, Alex is home with a case of mono but her family members are all using her illness to their advantage. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron worry they've not set the best example of tolerance and understanding for Lily after they hear her insulting a new friend.
Quote from Jay
Mitchell: We have our own kid problems. I mean, we had an incident this afternoon during Lily's playdate with Tom, who used to identify as Tina.
Cameron: I don't totally get the hand thing, but I like it.
Mitchell: They had a fight, and Lily said the worst possible thing. I mean, that poor boy's been through enough.
Gloria: Oh, I am sure that the parents have gone through a lot, too.
Cameron: Sure. You just don't get comfortable with something like that overnight.
Quote from Jay
Cameron: Oh, my God, Mitchell. Are we where Lily gets it? Are we not as open-minded as we think?
Mitchell: But that's our thing. Lording our tolerance over others.
Jay: I guess what this proves is, there's a little bit of prejudice in everyone. You, me, the neighbor across the street judging me for my cameras. I'm gonna do what I should have done at the beginning, talk to them.
Gloria: That's not a good idea.
Jay: Watch me!
Quote from Joe
Gloria: Joe, you're not going to live outside!
Joe: [suitcase thumping] Fine!
Quote from Luke
Luke: [aside to camera] Alex is never away from her laptop, so I had to steal assignments one at a time. I'm not proud of stealing, but I'm not unproud of how I'm stealing.
Quote from Claire
Claire: Oh, honey, I'm so sorry, but now that you're awake, what happened in here, huh?
Alex: I'll tell you what happened here. The same thing that's been happening all damn day! Me dealing with animals who don't care that we are air-conditioning the outside and insist on rotting their brains by watching vapid housewives spit wine on each other. And you. Can't even be bothered to use a plate!
Claire: Oh, she's a bummer, huh? [laughter]
Alex: Something funny?
Claire: No.
Quote from Lily
Lily: I didn't yell at Tom because he used to be Tina.
Mitchell: What?
Lily: I yelled at him 'cause he made fun of-
Cameron: Made fun of what? [Lily points to the mural on her bedroom wall] What's- What's to make fun of?
Mitchell: Oh, thank God.
Lily: He called you guys weirdos for putting that painting up, so I called him a weirdo.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Well, honey, why didn't you tell us?
Lily: 'Cause I didn't want your feelings to get hurt.
Mitchell: Get hurt? How?
Cameron: Because that rube Tom knows nothing about art?
Quote from Haley
Haley: What about all the science stuff? All the fun. You know, snapping each other in the butts with your goggle straps.
Quote from Luke
Alex: Wait a second. I thought I already packed my laptop. Why is it on the hallway table?
Luke: Uh, why is anything anywhere? Why aren't our feet at the end of our arms?
Quote from Alex
Alex: Who opened my 12th-grade Grapes of Wrath essay?
Luke: Uh...
Alex: Oh, my God. You just want me to stay here so you can steal all of my old homework.
Claire: Wow. I can't wait to hear what you have to say about this lapse in judgment.
Luke: Hey, it's better than what Mom's doing. She's just using you to yell at us.
Claire: I would nip that back talk in the bud.
Alex: I can't believe it. He's right!
Phil: Honey, you're getting upset again. Come on. Let's go get a treat.
Alex: Stop with the petting and- and the walks. You're using me as a therapy dog.
Phil: That's ridiculi- Am I? Well what about what Luke's doing?
Alex: We just dealt with him. And, Haley you are the only one who really cares about me. That's it! I'm going back to school.