Jillian: Oh, my God, you guys, my boob just fell out of my top at the bar. Trick! I pulled it out for a free drink!
Robin: So, Jillian, I hear when you're not flashing bartenders, you teach the second grade. What's that like?
Jillian: So rewarding. I don't know if you're familiar with the RYE technique, but it derives from the progressive
educational philosophy of Rudolf Steiner, who founded the Waldorf School, which... Oh, my God. I love this song! Come on, you lazy skanks, let's dance! [to Lily and Robin] You, too, you dumb whores.
Lily: No, thank you... ignorant hussy.

Ted: I can't believe I didn't get it. I really thought I nailed the pitch. Why would they go with Sven?
Barney: I did everything I could to change their minds. But they wouldn't budge. I'm sorry.
Ted: Wow, this really sucks. After the way these last couple of months have gone... I guess I needed this more
than I thought I did.
Marshall: Hey, you want to go down to the current GNB building and just, like... I don't know, just pee on it a little bit?
Ted: Yeah. Yeah, I think I need that.
Barney: Finish your beer. Fill the tank.

Lily: You're, like, best friends with Jillian now?
Robin: It's just... You're married, Lily, but I'm still single. Whenever I hang out with you, I'm usually the third wheel
to you and Marshall. Sometimes, it's fun to go out with other single women and do stuff that you don't want to.
Lily: Like what?
Robin: Like woo, Lily. Like woo.
Lily: I can woo.
Robin: That's not true.
Lily: I can, too.
Robin: It's just not you.

Marshall: What the hell is the matter with you?! This is Ted's big break! And then you sold him out because you wanted to work in the brain of a Tyrannosaurus rex, which, incidentally, if you knew anything about dinosaurs, is really, really small.

Barney: Marshall, this isn't about my office. Ted's building was good. Sven's was better. And I am not going to let the fact that I am Ted's best friend be a factor in business.
Marshall: You didn't pick Sven's building because it was better. You picked it because you wanted to work in a cool dinosaur office.
Barney: That's a lie! I picked it because it... It breathes fire, Marshall.
Marshall: "Fire Marshall." [laughs, Barney follows a few seconds later]
Barney: Oh, I didn't even notice.

Marshall: How could you do this to Ted after everything he's been through with Stella?! You're just being selfish.
Barney: Marshall, I would never make a business decision for selfish reasons. I am a professional. Now, come on. Let's get a nice daytime drunk going, and throw empties at pigeons.
Marshall: No. For two reasons. One, pigeons are smarter than you think. They hold grudges. And, two... this is our last conference call, Mr. Stinson. There are repercussions to screwing over a friend.
Barney: Like what?
Marshall: Like this. [Marshall coos, then leaves and closes the rooftop door behind him]
Barney: Hey!
[A pigeon lands on the building ledge. Another follows. Soon, there are five of them.]

Jillian: Oh, my God, you guys. Last night, we raised $10,000 for my charity to help combat childhood illiteracy. It's a really serious issue.
All: Woo!
Robin: Someone just earned herself an ass-first ride down the dance floor spank canyon!
All: Woo!

Lily: Woo!
Robin: Lily, what are you doing here?
Lily: Oh, just doing the fun things you single girls do.
Robin: What's with the plastic fireman's hat?
Lily: Oh, I didn't have a cowboy hat, and today was fire safety day at school, so...
Lily: Oh, my God, bitch. This is our anthem.
Robin: Really? Who sings this?
Lily: Is LL Cool J still doing things?

Barney: This is great, Svens. You guys are so much cooler than Marshall. He doesn't even own a unitard. Who wants a brew?
Sven #2: I don't understand. Where is the conference call?
Barney: No, no. This is the conference call. Get it? In America, when we work late, we lie about a conference call, and we come up here and we drink a few beers. It's awesome.
Sven #1: This is a waste of time. Push-ups!
[The three Svens drops to the floor]

Jillian: Misty, you are such a slut. Let's do another shot.
All: Woo!
Misty: You're the slut, you skank. Shots are on you.
All: Woo!
Crystal: No, bitch, shots are on you. You're such a whore.
All: Woo!
Lily: You're all a bunch of prostitutes. You probably have STDs.