Ted: Swedish architecture "collective".
Robin: Lame.
Lily: Pretentious.
Ted: "We're not a company. We're a collective."
Barney: I know. [French accent] "We are Swedish. We are so cool with our baguettes and our Eiffel Tower."
Marshall: Dude, Sweden's not France. You know that, right?
Barney: Oh, it's France.

[flashback to Barney and Marshall at work:]
Barney: Marshall, the conference call's about to start.
Marshall: I'm sorry, guys, I gotta go.
[later, on the roof of the building:]
Barney: [v.o.] And then we go up to the roof of the building... and drink beer.
Marshall: This is awesome. Drinking at work.
Barney: We're basically Mad Men.
Marshall: We are! We're such Mad Men!
Barney: I'm gonna go smack a secretary on the ass.
Marshall: That's totally what they would do on that show.
Barney: What show?

Future Ted: [v.o.] What's a Woo Girl? Let me explain. A Woo Girl is a type of young woman, who, like the cuckoo bird or the whip-poor-will, gets her name from the signature sound she makes. Now, a woo can be elicited in many different ways. From a certain song coming on the jukebox, to half-priced shots, from a ride on a mechanical bull, to, well, pretty much anything.

Barney: Why, Lily Aldrin, you sly minx. I've been saying for years that our gang need a Woo Girl, and here you've been hiding a whole batch of them from me.
Lily: We do not need a Woo Girl. No one needs a Woo Girl.
Barney: Be careful, Lily. The world absolutely needs Woo Girls. If there were no Woo Girls, there'd be no Girls Gone Wild, no bachelorette parties, no Las Vegas poolside bars... All the things that you hold
dearest, Lily, would be gone.
Lily: Those are none of the things...
Barney: The souvenir shot glass industry would collapse. So would the body glitter industry and the stretch-Hummer rental industry. Tiny cowboy hats would be worn only by tiny cowboys. And when"Brown Eyed Girl"
would come up on the jukebox, all you would hear... would be silence. And "Brown Eyed Girl." But who would woo, Lily? Who would woo? Would you? Would you... woo?
Jillian: Who wants to name my boobs?!
Barney: Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with Hannity and Colmes.

Barney: Ted, am I correct that you are an architect?
Ted: My best friend would really know that, but go on.
Barney: And what are you currently designing?
Ted: Actually, we're renovating the new York Public Library.
Robin: Wow, Ted, that's huge!
Ted: No, not the New York Public Library. It's the new public library in York, North Dakota. Their books are in two sections: Fishin' and non-fishin'.

Barney: So, then, it's agreed. From now on, all ATM fees are now called Freedom Charges.

Lily: Don't be jealous. You and I hang out all the time.
Robin: Yeah, but Marshall's always there. We don't get a lot of quality time to talk, just the two of us.
Lily: That's not true.
[flashback to Lily and Robin on the couch in the apartment:]
Robin: So that's when the story gets really good. So, we go to the... [Marshall sits down next to Robin] place. And then that... guy asks about that thing with the stuff that I told you about at that place that time. Long story short... events transpired.
Marshall: Oh, my God. You and the guy from the mayor's office did it in the UN building under the desk of the
ambassador from Zaire? Nice.
[present:]
Robin: I just wish we could have some girl time. I love Marshall, but he's always talk-blocking me.

Barney: Then I think you are going to really like what happened at work today.
[flashback:]
Bilson: And so, while those bribes did destabilize the regime and caused the death of most of the royal family, it did lead to looser banking regulations in Rangoon. So yay us. Okay, last order of business. It's been decided we're going to move forward with plans for Goliath National Bank's new downtown headquarters.
[present:]
Ted: Who's gonna design it?
Barney: Was my first question.
[flashback:]
Barney: Who's gonna design it?
Bilson: We've already approached one firm about it. This Swedish architecture collective called Sven.
[present:]
Ted: Sven? Sven?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Sven was this Swedish architecture collective revered for their bold, innovative designs. I hated those guys.
Ted: I hate those guys.

Barney: So anyway, I say to Bilson...
[flashback to Barney at work:]
Barney: Bilson, with all due respect...
[present:]
Barney: No, I stand up, and I say to Bilson...
[flashback:]
Barney: Bilson, with all due respect... [stands up]
[present:]
Barney: Music. Imagine patriotic music playing.
[flashback:]
Barney: [music plays] Bilson, with all due respect, it would be terrible if a job that could go to a hard-working American architecture firm, went to a bunch of French guys. Where is our patriotism? Our sense of country? Our love of all that is...
Bilson: Look, Stinson, no one hates every other country in the world as much as I do, but you better have a point.
Barney: I do. I know a fantastic American architect who would be perfect for the job. Ted Mosby.

Lily: I swear, at school Jillian seems so un-woo-y.
Robin: Yeah, she doesn't look wooish. Maybe she only observes the high holidays, like Mardi Gras and Spring Break. Maybe she's just a cultural "woo".