Robin: What are you doing?
Marshall: I'm going to the airport. How could I be so stupid?! Of course she's bringing me a six-pack!
Future Ted: [v.o.] But this time, I didn't bring him a six-pack.
[on the plane:]
Lily: Because as we mature, the relationship matures with us.
Woman: Well, he sounds like a nice young man. I'll bet he surprises you and picks you up anyway.
[in Lily's imagination, she meets Marshall at the baggage claim:]
Lily: Oh, baby!
Marshall: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's my beer?
Lily: We said we weren't gonna.
Tall blonde woman: I have beer.
Marshall: Wow, a six-pack and you're an appropriate height for me. Let's go, New Lily.

Carl: Drink up, boys. I'm closing the bar.
Ted: Whoa, no! It's only 9:00.
Barney: And this place is ragin', yo!
[The only other guy in the bar falls off his stool]
Carl: Guys, I'm really sorry, but I got to go set up cots in the church basement. It doubles as a shelter on snowy nights like this.
Barney: You selfish bastard! There are two very hot girls coming here to meet us.
Ted: Can't you just leave the place open a little while longer? We'll keep an eye on everything.
Carl: You two? No way. You wouldn't know the first thing about running a bar.
Barney: Serve the hotties first?
Carl: Here's the keys.

Future Ted: [vo.] And like the other ill-advised five-word sentences every man eventually says in his life...
[montage:]
Marshall: I can jump that far.
Ted: I'm gonna win her back.
Carl: I can trust you guys.
Future Ted: [v.o.] We would come to regret it. We just didn't know it yet.

Amanda: Oh, thank God you're still here.
Melissa: I don't know if you guys have ever seen Star Wars, but it's like Hoth out there.
Ted: Dibs.

Amanda: It reminds me of when I used to go sledding with my dad before he left.
Barney: And dibs.
Ted: So, uh, can we warm you up with a drink?
Melissa: Sure oh, uh, by the way, I invited the rest of the band to come and meet us.
Amanda: We were hoping to get drunk. I mean really drunk. Like my dad used to.
Barney: Dibsity, dibsity, dibsity.

Lily: You know what else I miss? Our lunchtime phone call.
[flashback to Lily in the apartment:]
Lily: [on the phone] Hey, baby, it's lunchtime, and I love you.
Marshall: [on the phone at work, surrounded by colleagues] I reciprocate in principle. Although with the caveat that there seems to be a bit of a surplus here on my end.
Lily: No, I love you more.
Marshall: Do we need to get in a room together and bang this thing out? Those sound like agreeable terms, although I may need adjust my briefs. Love you, too.

Marshall: But today when she called, I let it go to voice mail. Voice mail!
Robin: How could you?!
Marshall: The thing I miss most is kissing at midnight on New Year's Eve.
[meanwhile, in Ranjit's cab:]
Lily: It was a New Year's tradition. But you know what we did this year?
Ranjit: Crazy monkey sex?
Lily: No.
[flashback to Lily and Marshall sleeping through the New Year's Eve broadcast]

Robin: Okay, all these cute, adorable little rituals? Yeah they're stupid. Telling each other what you had to eat? You're like children playing house.
Marshall: Well, maybe you just think they're stupid because you've never been in a relationship long enough to develop them.
Robin: What?!
Marshall: You don't understand love. Okay, you're like some robot who sees a person crying and says [robotic voice] "Why is that human leaking?"
Robin: Hmm. Is that right?
Marshall: Yeah.
Robin: Well, then [robotic voice] robot initiating pull-over-to-the-side-of-the-road-until-jackass-apologizes- to-me sequence. Beep-bo, beep-boo, beep-bo, beep-bo, boo.
Marshall: My robot was like, a million times better.

Man: Oh, hey, just so you know, the trough in the bathroom is overflowing.
Ted: There's no trough in the bathroom. And you just came out of the kitchen.

Marshall: Robin, there's a snowplow coming. We have to get back on the road.
Robin: You think the only way to be in love is to have pet names. Or leave each other stupid, little notes or go charging off into a blizzard for no good reason.
Marshall: Seriously, do you understand what's going to happen if that plow comes by?
Robin: You know what you are? You're a love snob. There's lots of ways to be in a relationship, and you would know that if you ever left your little love snob country club.
Marshall: We're going to get buried by snow. That's going to happen.
Robin: No, screw this. I'm not going to sit here and be insulted. We're not going to the airport. We're going home. [snow plow drives by] What just happened?