‘Subway Wars’
Season 6, Episode 4 - Aired October 11, 2010
When the gang hears about a celebrity sighting downtown, they challenge each other to see who can reach the restaurant the quickest.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Here's a fun fact. See the Alberta Building over there?
Man: Oh. The brown one or the gray one?
Ted: That's the gray one. Did you know that in 18...
Man: [snores]
Quote from Barney
[After Barney finishes eating his steak, he wipes his mouth and clears his throat. He then begins to clutch his chest. He stands up and gags.]
Barney: Hurts! [screams] I- [growls] [screeches] [screams] Elizabeth!
[Barney drops to the ground]
Waiter: Somebody call an ambulance!
[On the floor, Barney winks to camera]
Quote from Barney
Barney: Downtown hospital, please. It's right by Gregor's Steakhouse. Take the FDR, and maybe crank up some smooth jazz.
Paramedic: Uh, we're required by law to take you to the nearest hospital, which is St. Luke's-Roosevelt. Uptown.
Barney: Oh, no.
Quote from Robin
Future Ted: [v.o.] Robin also needed a win that day.
[title: "Why Robin Needed A Win":]
Future Ted: It had been a rough year for Robin. First her boyfriend and former cohost, Don, left her for another job. Then Robin met her new cohost, Becky.
Becky: Hi! I'm Becky! I am so excited to be your co-anchor! Yay!
Robin: Hi, Becky. My, you're perky.
Becky: Don't worry, I am not here to step on your toesies. You're still the star. I made chocolate chip cookies for everybody! Yay!
Future Ted: [v.o.] And just like that, Becky started to eclipse Robin. I mean, literally eclipse her.
Quote from Ranjit
Ranjit: Hello.
Barney: Ranjit, take me to Gregor's.
Ranjit: Taking you to Gregor's.
Quote from Ted
Woman: Ow. Ow. Ow. Last seat. Thank God. I just had the worst cab ride of my life.
Ted: Well, you're in luck. See that gothic church over there? Those corinthian columns were designed by Giuseppe Pegatto in 1896.
Woman: [gets up and moves] Ow. Ow. Ow.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Hey, Ranjit, pull over.
Ranjit: Pulling over.
Barney: Hey, toots! How about a ride? [Robin gets in the cab] Oh. Hey, Robin, it's you.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: [singing] Hyah! Move along. Hyah! Move along. Hyah!
Quote from Ted
[Ted talks to the bus driver]
Ted: See that over there? That's the old Arcadian Hotel. Fun fact. While today its neoclassical fenestration is considered to be...
[The bus driver suddenly breaks and Ted falls down. The driver smiles]
Quote from Barney
Robin: So, is this ride your way of apologizing for this morning?
Barney: I'm sorry. I never apologize. And why would I?
Robin: Are you kidding me?
[flashback to Barney and Robin at MacLaren's:]
Robin: Hey, Barney, can I talk to you?
Barney: Sure. Stand a little more this way. I'm scouting some talent. Pretend we're talking about something important.
Robin: Oh, well, this... This is something important. Um, I'm having a... A really rough time at work. You know, the whole Becky thing...
Barney: Oh, you know what? That's just getting distracting. Um, say "carrots and peas". Carrots and peas. Carrots and peas. Carrots and peas. Carrots and peas.