‘Architect of Destruction’
Season 6, Episode 5 - Aired October 18, 2010
Ted is conflicted when he learns that the new GNB headquarters he's designing will mean knocking down a New York landmark. Meanwhile, Marshall is upset to learn how much women share about their sex lives.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Ted, I know you love crap old stuff no one cares about. But I'm gonna give yo. four words to live by. New is always better.
Ted: New is always better?
Barney: You know who's a million times hotter than the hottest girl I've ever slept with? Her okay-looking friend
I haven't seen naked. Why? Because new is always better.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Dude. Working together is gonna be legen... Wait for it. I'll send you an inter-office memo with the rest 'cause we freakin' work together!
Quote from Barney
Ted: I'm sorry. I can't do this if it means tearing down The Arcadian. It's an architectural landmark. Plus, people live there. How does GNB plan to get hundreds of residents to just up and leave?
Barney: Snakes.
Ted: Did you just say "snakes"?
Barney: I don't recall saying "snakes".
Quote from Barney
Ted: And this theory applies to everything?
Barney: Everything.
Ted: So, those new Star Wars movies... Those are better than the old ones?
Barney: Yeah. The first three barely mention the intricacies of intergalactic trade law.
Ted: And when you're at a Guns n' Roses concert, you're like, "Yeah, yeah, Paradise City, whatever. When are they gonna rock me some Chinese Democracy"?
Barney: Axl's really matured as a songwriter, Ted.
Ted: Wendy! I'd like to buy my friend a drink. What's your oldest Scotch?
Wendy: Glenmckenna, aged 30 years in oak casks. Amazing.
Ted: And what's your newest scotch?
Wendy: Jumbo Jim's Grape Scotch. Don't let it touch your skin.
Ted: Your call, buddy.
Barney: A glass of the J-Jumbo Jim's Grape Scotch sounds lovely. Lots of ice. New is always better, Ted! That's a rule. Just like bigger is always better!
Quote from Barney
Ted: Did GNB really put snakes in The Arcadian?
Barney: No. Technically, they were eggs.
Ted: Did you just say "eggs"?
Barney: I don't recall saying "eggs."
Quote from Barney
Barney: How can you speak of such things?
Lily: You're kidding. Barney, every time I mention a woman you don't know, the first thing you say is, "Boobs?" Not the complete sentence, "Does she have big boobs?" Which also would not be great. Just: "Boobs?"
Barney: I do not do that.
Lily: My friend Lori from work...
Barney: Boobs? Damn it. But... seriously. Boobs?
Quote from Robin
Robin: Girls talk about everything.
Lily: Size, shape, left or right leaning orientation...
Robin: Length, resemblance to a historical figure, such as Winston Churchill. Yes, that's one of you. Girth, grooming...
Quote from Barney
[As Ted enters the apartment, Barney swivels around on a black leather chair while stroking a white bunny rabbit:]
Ted: How the hell could you do that?
Barney: Simple. I rented the chair. The bunny was here already. That was lucky. I waited to do the dramatic swivel until I heard your key enter the door.
Quote from Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, in the fall of 2010, I was designing the new headquarters for Goliath National Bank, which meant working side by side with your Uncle Barney.
Ted: I love your idea about a giant rooftop ring of fire you can jump through with a motorcycle, but I tweaked it
slightly and... This is still super bad-ass. It's now a patio garden where you can bring a nice bag lunch.
Barney: Sick.
Quote from Barney
Ted: Barney, we have to talk.
Barney: Sure. What's up?
Trish: Excuse me, Mr. Stinson.
Barney: Not now, Trish!
Trish: But there's an urgent memo for Mr. Mosby.
Ted: "Dary."
Barney: Legendary!