Marshall: There is no story! I had a little situation so I called Lily.
Barney: Refresh us, what was that situation?
Marshall: I forgot my pants.
[flashback to Lily in her kindergarten class:]
Lily: [on the phone] What do you mean, you forgot your pants?
Marshall: I forgot them. Now, I need you to bring me some.
Lily: What about your spare pants?
Marshall: Last Thursday, the mustard incident? Jeez, woman, you have the memory of a goldfish!

Lily: Finish your story.
Ted: What? That's it! It was just one kiss in the restaurant.
Lily: Why did you say "in the restaurant"? Did you kiss somewhere else?
Ted: Like where? In a tree? No, Lily, we did not make out in a tree! What's with this one?
Marshall: Oh, Ted. What did you do?
[flashback to Ted and Karen kissing as they reach his apartment]
Lily: Oh.
Barney: Oh, Ted, how could you? [high-fives Ted]

Marshall: In Karen's defense, I had just worked out.
Ted: Why did you have to paint Marshall nude anyway?
Lily: Because he ate my bowl of fruit.

Lily: But the point is, Karen, is a dirty linger and you cannot bring her back into our lives!
Ted: Relax! It was just that one night! And the next three after that. And one morning. But at least, I had pants on, Marshall. Although, actually, I didn't.

[flashback to a sleep-walking Robin walking past Ted and Karen making out in the apartment:]
Robin: Hey, Ted. Hey, Lily. Don't worry, I won't tell Marshall.
[another flashback:]
Karen: I'm gonna grab a beer, you want one? [laughs] Beer! I'll start decanting the Bordeaux.
[Karen reaches the kitchen where Robin is sprawled out on the floor in her pajamas eating food]

Robin: So what's next with this broad?
Marshall: Oh, please, the story is already written. Ted is Charlie Brown, trying to kick the football and Karen's Lucy, who pulls it away at the last second and has sex with it. You guys know what I mean. Ted's gonna fall in love and then Karen's gonna cheat on him with some meathead who's like "[sniffs] Sorry, bro."
Ted: [laughing] Wrong, wrong, wrong! You must have left the right answer in your pants Marshall, cause that's exactly what didn't happen.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Because heres what happened. One afternoon, we were at Karen's place...
Jerry: Karen? Oh, my God! How could you?
Ted: [sniffs] Sorry, bro.

Future Ted: [v.o.] So this time, the meathead Karen was cheating with...
Ted: Was me. Me. Ted. Me. Ted. Remember that time Marshall forgot his pants?

Marshall: Fine! Okay, so Lily came down to the office to bring me my pants...
Barney: And why did she have to do that?
Marshall: Because I forgot my pants.
[flashback to Lily at the GNB office:]
Barney: Lily, what are you doing here?
Lily: Oh, I'm here to give Marshall something.
Barney: Ah. Here to give him something. Gotcha. Nice.
Lily: Yeah, but I'm in a hurry. Can I just give it to you?
Barney: Sure. Okay.
Lily: And then you'll give it to him?
Barney: Wait, oh, hey. Wait. I don't know about all that. I mean, yours would have to be really good.
Lily: What are you talking about?
Barney: What are you talking about?

[flashback to Lily at the GNB office with Barney:]
Lily: Marshall forgot his pants, so I'm bringing him a new pair.
Barney: Huh. Marshall forgot his pants. It's a good thing that you came by because he has a really important meeting today, and it would be pretty embarrassing and not at all funny if he were to show up not wearing pants. So, I'll make sure he gets these.
Lily: Great. Thanks, Barney.
[present:]
Ted: And you didn't give him his pants.
Barney: Theodore Evelyn Mosby. Of course I gave him his pants. I gave Lily my word. My word is oak. Though I did make some alterations.

[flashback to Marshall giving a presentation at work in his "altered" pants:]
Marshall: Now, as you'll see on page 44 of the contract...
Bilson: Hey, Eriksen, when did you join AC/DC?
Marshall: Ha-ha-ha-ha. Now, can we please just turn to page 44 of the contract.
Blauman: Hey, Eriksen, I think the Oliver Twist auditions are down the hall!
Barney: Hey, Eriksen, please, sir, may I have some more... pants?
[present:]
Barney: [laughing hysterically] More pan... [falls off his chair laughing]