Barney: Oh, hey, remember this yoga instructor you brought to my birthday last year?
[flashback to Barney's birthday at MacLaren's:]
Barney: Oh, my God. You guys are not gonna believe who just came in. Don't look, don't look! Why aren't you looking? It's Slash from Guns N' Roses.
All: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Lily: Okay, okay. Group shot. Group shot! Come on!
[present:]
Barney: And we got it! We got a picture with Slash on my birthday. Awesome, right? Right?
Robin: We were there. We know how this ends.
Barney: Wrong!
[Ted's date for the evening is obscuring Slash in the picture]

[talking about the picture with Slash:]
Robin: You know what's funny about this picture? He was grabbing my ass.
Lily: Really? He was grabbing my ass, too.
Barney: He was grabbing my ass, too. How many hands does that guy have?
Ted: No wonder he's such a good guitarist.
Marshall: Actually, sorry, dude. I thought that you were Lily.

Future Ted: [v.o.] He was right, kids. Your Uncle Marshall does a lot of things well, but he does not take a good picture.
Marshall: They're not all bad, okay? Like, here. Here, look at this one, my eyes are open.
Ted: Marshall, no!
Barney: Oh, you did put a bow on it!

Robin: What happened in Paris?
Lily: It was junior year, and I was studying abroad in Paris, and hadn't seen Marshall for two months.
Marshall: Two months! And I had just started having sex. I wasn't ready to stop for two months.
Lily: And Marshall was coming to visit over spring break. And at the last minute, Ted decided to come with the girl he had just gotten back together with, Karen.
Marshall: Karen.

Lily: This will come as no shock, but the rest of the trip was terrible. [slideshow of Paris photos with Ted, Karen, Marshall and Lily] And all I wanted was a romantic kiss picture in front of the Eiffel Tower, which I actually did get. It just happened to be between Karen and Francois, our waiter from the day before.

Ted: Look, I'm sorry about Paris, and all the ruined group shots. But when you're single, you gotta hope that each next new girl is the one. I mean, Erin.
Lily: Emily.
Ted: Irene.
Lily: Isabelle.
Ted: And Sara.
Lily: It's Lailanie. What is wrong with you?

Ted: At the time, yes. I thought each of these girls could be the one. But I gotta stay hopeful. I mean, what's the alternative?
Lily: Here's the alternative. How about no more random skanks at my birthday? [Amanda comes out of the kitchen] Hey, sweetie.
Amanda: Uh, do you guys have a cooling rack?
Lily: Oh, drawer under the oven. Can't wait. You're just the best.

Robin: And, Ted, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to agree with Lily on this. I mean, these kind of events are hard for a new person. That's why I didn't bring Don tonight. I mean, when I lived in Japan, this guy, for our third date, brought me to his brother's wedding. Now I, a total stranger, am in that Japanese couple's wedding picture for all eternity.

Lily: Yeah, Ted, I think you should listen to Robin.
Ted: Right. Right. 'Cause Robin's your best friend.
Robin: Exactly.
Ted: Your best friend in the whole world.
Lily: Absolutely.
Marshall: [whispers] Careful, Lily. It's a trap.
Ted: And before she was your best friend, what was she? Oh, that's right, one of my random skanks.

Lily: Okay, yes, Ted. This particular skank...
Robin: Hey!
Lily: ...happened to work out. But she's the skanky exception, not the skanky rule.
Robin: Okay, I'm crying a little bit.