Lily: A new camera. Oh, thank you, Marshall! I love it!
Marshall: [clears throat] Well, a little bonus. I took some naked pictures of myself before I wrapped it, put a bow on it.
Lily: There wasn't a bow on it.
Marshall: Wrong "it."

Marshall: Ted, you were supposed to bring a cheesecake, but instead you brought two grocery bags and a woman we've never seen before. Hi, I'm Marshall. Welcome to our home. Start talking.
Ted: Well, Amanda's gonna make Lily a cake. She's a chef. We met when I was at a restaurant last week, and I sent some soup back. Luckily she's got such pretty hair, I didn't mind eating a little bit of it.
Amanda: They call me The Shedder at work.
Lily: I'm so glad you're making my birthday cake.

Marshall: In honor of Lily's 32nd birthday, I've got a lot of great games planned, starting with Lilial Pursuit.
Barney: Ah, clever.
Marshall: Okay, who's got number one?
Amanda: I do.
Marshall: Of course you do. Okay, Amanda goes first. Thirty-two seconds on the clock to answer as many questions as possible. And, go! Question one, what is Lily's favorite color?
Lily: Well, she's wearing pink, so I'm gonna say pink.
Marshall: Yeah, that's Robin.
Amanda: Oh, Uh... [Ted mouths "yellow"] Her favorite color is elbow.
Marshall: I believe Ted was mouthing the word "yellow." Which also would've been wrong.

Marshall: This game is called Gilding The Lily.
Robin: Nice.
Marshall: Thank you. Okay, you've all written down your favorite things about the birthday girl, and, Lily-pad, you guess who wrote what. "Lily makes everyone in her life, from her friends to her students..."
Ted: [whispering] Lily's a kindergarten teacher. That's what he means by students.
Marshall: "...feel loved. She makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies ever, can recite every line from Goonies..."
Ted: Lily saw Goonies in the theater right after her parents separated. For a long time after that, she had real trouble trusting people.
Lily: Ted!

Marshall: Okay, Lily, you try to guess who wrote this."You seem really nice."
Lily: Oh. I'm gonna guess Amanda.
Barney: No, that was me. And I meant every word.

Ted: Lily, what's going on?
Marshall: Who wants a party hat? Hey, look. Look, I'm a bird! Let's all be birds!
Ted: Lily! Tell me the truth!
Lily: No, of course not! I'm not gonna let another one of your dumb skanks ruin my precious memories!

Ted: Lily, what are you talking about?
Lily: Ted, you always do this. You bring girls that we barely know to all our big group events.
Ted: I do not!
Lily: Oh, really? Oh. Well, let's just take a little walk down Random Skank Lane.
Marshall: Or we could just keep on strolling down Best Birthday Ever Avenue.
Barney: Do I get a vote? Skank Lane. Skank Lane!

Marshall: Hey, hey, guys, I've composed a song for the evening. Follow along. The chorus goes like this. [singing] Happy, Happy Lily Day Happy, Happy...

Lily: Christmas morning, four years ago. Our first Christmas together, just the five of us. Oh, Ted, here's another fun little trivia game. It's called Name That Bitch.
Ted: It's... It is... Sa... San...
Lily: Wrong. You're thinking of Santa, 'cause it was Christmas.
Robin: Fun fact, each year, my mother has Easter tea with her friend Bunny. [chuckling] Okay, not that fun.
Ted: Yeah, I remember her name. It's Sara.
Lily: Close. It's Lailanie. She just had to come to Christmas because you said, "Guys, she might be the one." And she's not the only "might be the one."

[montage of photographs:]
Lily: New Year's Eve, 2007. Barney, Lily, Robin, Ted, Marshall, and "she's the one" Emily.
Lily: Robin's Uncle Cecil's funeral. Marshall, Lily, Robin, Barney, Ted, and " this-just-proves-you-find-the-one-
when-you're-not-looking" Isabelle.
Lily: My appendix surgery. Robin, Marshall, Barney, Lily, Ted, and... Well, this one you admitted, you were just trying to bang. Respect. [fist bumps Ted]