Barney Quote #1659
Quote from Barney in Now We're Even
Barney: You watch, Ted. Tonight is going to be legen- it's the night we stole a camel... which means it'll be
full of drama - dary. Dromedary!
Ted: I applaud your wordplay, but your core premise is flawed. Every night can't be legendary. If all nights are legendary, no nights are legendary.
Barney: See, Ted, that attitude right there, that's why I'm in the lead.
Ted: What do you mean, in the lead?
Barney: I'm talking about the game of life, Ted. Scoreboard. Better wardrobe. 75 points. Apartment on a higher floor. 90 points. Longer name. 110 points.
Ted: Sorry. Did you just make up this point system?
Barney: Made up the point system. 114 points. And ten points to you for pointing that out. Nice job, Ted. 15 points to me for being gracious enough to give you those ten points. But here's the point, Ted. Every time I go out and have an awesome night and you're not there, that's another 100 points in my column. So yeah, I'm in the lead.
Ted: Barney, the fact that I can stay home for a night shows that I have inner peace and that I don't feel the need to keep score. That's worth like 1,000 points right there, so at the very least, we're tied.
Barney: We're so not tied. Although you know what is tied: the strap of my girlfriend's bikini. Except when it's not,
'cause she's a stripper. One million points! Game. Shh. It's over. It's done. It's done.
Features in the collection: Barney Stinson: Legendary.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Barney Stinson: Legendary’
Quote from Barney in How Lily Stole Christmas
Robin: You have to go home and get to bed.
Barney: Oh, Robin, my simple friend from the untamed north, let me tell you about a little thing I like to call mind over body. You see, whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead. True story. Yeah, in two minutes, I'm going to pound a sixer of Red Bull, hop in a cab, play a couple of hours of laser tag, maybe get a spray-on tan. It's gonna be legen... Wait for it... [Barney falls asleep]
Quote from Barney in Sweet Taste of Liberty
Barney: We're going to Sascha's.
Ted: Who the hell is Sascha?
Barney: Sascha. [points to security woman] She's having friends over for drinks at her house. It's gonna be legen- wait for it, and I hope you're not lactose intolerant 'cause the second half of that word is -dairy!
‘Now We're Even’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: [flipping a color chart] Not the rose quartz of the slightly embarrassed, or the tomato red of the mildly abashed, vermilion, the color of carnal shame. Can only mean one thing: Lily dream-banged someone we know.
Barney: Okay, you caught me vermilion-handed. The truth is, I've spent the last five years trying to inception your wife.
Marshall: That movie only came out two years ago.
Barney: What movie?
Quote from Ranjit
Marshall: I had no idea that food could be this delicious.
Ranjit: Marshall, you are being crazy.
Marshall: No, no, I can handle it. If I sell my laptop, we can get seconds on those squash blossoms.
Ranjit: I mean about Lily.
Marshall: Well, you know, she's being crazy, too.
Ranjit: She's pregnant. She gets to be crazy. You have to be the sane one.
Marshall: So what, I don't get to be crazy again until the baby comes?
Ranjit: No. Then it's baby's turn to be crazy.
Marshall: When do I get to be crazy again?
Ranjit: Never. [laughs]
Quote from Ted
Marshall: So, how's living alone?
Ted: You know, it's interesting. When I first moved into my new apartment, I was nervous. For the first time in my adult life, I didn't have a roommate. But then it hit me, for the first time in my adult life, I didn't have a roommate! If I want to walk around naked, nobody cares. If I want to leave the laundry basket in the middle of the living room, nobody stops me. If I bring home soup from the deli and leave it in the fridge for two days, nobody eats it. And if I do something colossally stupid, nobody ever has to know. People make fun of the guy who stays home every night doing nothing. But the truth is... that guy's a genius. Because let's be honest, sitting around watching TV, drinking beer and eating ribs alone is what every red-blooded American would rather be doing at all times.
Marshall: Yeah, but wouldn't it be better to have someone to share the... I mean, don't you get lonely without... Yeah, that sounds pretty great.