Barney Quote #1654
Marshall: [flipping a color chart] Not the rose quartz of the slightly embarrassed, or the tomato red of the mildly abashed, vermilion, the color of carnal shame. Can only mean one thing: Lily dream-banged someone we know.
Barney: Okay, you caught me vermilion-handed. The truth is, I've spent the last five years trying to inception your wife.
Marshall: That movie only came out two years ago.
Barney: What movie?
Quote from Ranjit
Marshall: I had no idea that food could be this delicious.
Ranjit: Marshall, you are being crazy.
Marshall: No, no, I can handle it. If I sell my laptop, we can get seconds on those squash blossoms.
Ranjit: I mean about Lily.
Marshall: Well, you know, she's being crazy, too.
Ranjit: She's pregnant. She gets to be crazy. You have to be the sane one.
Marshall: So what, I don't get to be crazy again until the baby comes?
Ranjit: No. Then it's baby's turn to be crazy.
Marshall: When do I get to be crazy again?
Ranjit: Never. [laughs]
Quote from Ted
Marshall: So, how's living alone?
Ted: You know, it's interesting. When I first moved into my new apartment, I was nervous. For the first time in my adult life, I didn't have a roommate. But then it hit me, for the first time in my adult life, I didn't have a roommate! If I want to walk around naked, nobody cares. If I want to leave the laundry basket in the middle of the living room, nobody stops me. If I bring home soup from the deli and leave it in the fridge for two days, nobody eats it. And if I do something colossally stupid, nobody ever has to know. People make fun of the guy who stays home every night doing nothing. But the truth is... that guy's a genius. Because let's be honest, sitting around watching TV, drinking beer and eating ribs alone is what every red-blooded American would rather be doing at all times.
Marshall: Yeah, but wouldn't it be better to have someone to share the... I mean, don't you get lonely without... Yeah, that sounds pretty great.
Quote from Ranjit
Marshall: Ranjit, would you please put up the partition?
Ranjit: Partition going up.
[As the partition goes up to about 80%:]
Marshall: You had a sex dream about Ranjit!
[Ranjit raises the partition fully]
Lily: Okay, yes, I did, but it didn't mean anything.
Marshall: Okay, well, what happened in this dream? And I want to know everything. Every explicit detail. Don't leave out any... [Marshall realizes the partition is fully lowered] Damn it, Ranjit!