[fantasy:]
Marshall: But, Lily, being a judge is my dream job.
Daphne: [voicing Lily] So your dream job's more important than my dream job?
Marshall: Exactly. Now you're getting it.
[reality:]
Daphne: Nope. Start over.
[fantasy:]
Daphne: So your dream job's more important than my dream job?
Marshall: But, baby, you already have the best job in the world: Mom.
[reality:]
Daphne: Nope. Start over.
[fantasy:]
Daphne: So your dream job's more important than my dream job?
Marshall: Hey, I gave up peeing in the shower for you.
[reality:]
Daphne: Nope. Start over.
[fantasy:]
Daphne: So your dream job's more important than my dream job?
Marshall: Of course not. But this isn't just about our future, it's about everyone's. As a lawyer, I couldn't stop big oil from polluting, but as ajudge, well, maybe I can. And that's why I took the job. You've just been Convincer-ed.
Daphne: Wait. You already took the job? Without even talking to your wife?
Marshall: Start over. Start over. Start over.
[reality:]
Daphne: What the damn hell?

Barney: Hi, Reverend Lowell? Whoo! Made it through my half. You're up.
Robin: Uh, the truth is, we have a complicated, messy history that we're not too proud of. But we're sorry that we lied, and hope that you can forgive us.
Reverend: [ponders] Nope. I can't do it. You're going to have to find a new officiant.
Barney: Okay, well, these things happen.
Reverend: And a new church.
Robin: What the damn hell?

Cassie: Hey, Ted. Thanks for being so great. I'm lucky to have you around this weekend.
Ted: Ooh. Yeah. About that. I should really go see about the, uh...
Cassie: So sex?
Ted: My room is very close. Sophia. Hi.
Cassie: Oh, God, Wesley.
Ted: Wait... Wait, you're Wesley?
Wesley: Hey, Cassie. Your parents were just saying you have a new boyfriend.
Ted: Boyfriend's a little premature. Though I did pay for dinner.

Ted: So, Sophia, hi, I'm Ted. Robin's friend. What do you say we give these old flames a chance to catch up alone and we could get a drink?
Sophia: Are you hitting on me?
Welsey: Dude.
Cassie: Ted. Let's go.
Knight Templar: You tip... poorly.

Marshall: Look, I know, I shouldn't have taken the job without telling Lily. Why are you so ticked off about it?
Daphne: Because I know what she's going through. I always dreamed of having a career I could be proud of, but my husband never supported me. Eventually I had to make a choice. Now every day I'm out there, I'm fighting for the good guys, and I love it. Doesn't your wife deserve that too?
Marshall: Wow, um, maybe you're right. I didn't realize how many sacrifices you'd made. What is it you do, anyway?
Daphne: I'm a lobbyist for a big oil company.
Marshall: What the damn hell? You know that I'm an environmentalist. That's why you don't want me to be a judge. But you're the reason I have to become a judge! You're the devil incarnate. And outcarnate. Every kind of carnate.

Robin: Please, is there any way you'd reconsider?
Reverend: No. No. No. You two are both terrible people.
Robin: Who found each other in this crazy world.
Reverend: And who lie about how they found each other. Please, leave now. Just...
Barney: You know what? You're right, we shouldn't have lied about our story. I love our story. Sure, it's messy, but it's the story that got us here, about to get married.
Robin: I love it too. Every messy chapter. I love that you slept with over 250 women before deciding that I was your favorite.
Reverend: This is killing me.
Barney: And I love that we had to keep having sex with each other even when dating other people.
Reverend: It's really killing me.
Robin: And I love that your marriage proposal involved a strip club, lying to me, and pretending to bang the woman I hate for two months.
Barney: I love that we keep a running tally of all the different rooms we've had sex in.
Robin: I love that two weeks ago, we put this room on that list.
Barney: Ah. Come on, rev, that's got to be worth some kind of reaction. I mean, right where your hymnal is, is where we... We... [chuckles] Well, that's not what you want.

Cassie: I release you. Go have fun this weekend. Meet someone else.
Ted: [inner monologue] Yes, yes! Be cool. [out loud]
Future Ted: [v.o.] But I couldn't meet someone else.
Lily: Hey, Ted, everyone here is saying you and Cassie are the couple of the weekend. How great is that?
Future Ted: Barney was right. I had chosen poorly. Everyone had seen us together, and now the whole weekend seemed lost. Until...
Grace: Hi, I just got here. Did I miss anything?
Ted: Not at all. Grace, right? I'm Ted. Let's get you a drink before you talk to anyone else or hear anything.

Ted: Oh, that's terrible. Should I make a toast in his honor?
Knight Templar: [mouths] No, no, no.
Ted: Of course I should. Everyone? To Reverend Lowell. He may have passed away tonight, but he will always...
Cassie: Uncle Robert died? Oh, no. [sobs]
Ted: Have a nice weekend.
Future Ted: [v.o.] All that night, I did nothing but choose poorly. But thanks to Cassie, I didn't get together with anyone at that wedding. And if I had, well, then your mother and I might never have met. So maybe, in a way, I chose wisely. Although it sure as heck didn't feel like it at the time.
Knight Templar: She chose Wesley. Ha, ha. I've been dying to say that one all night.

Marshall: Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you. Truth is, you're right. It was wrong of me to take that job without telling Lily. I don't need to be tough with her. I need to be fair.
Daphne: Thanks, Marshall. I should also apologize. While you were filling the tank, I may have been so angry,
I texted your wife with the news that you took that judge offer. [cell phone rings] Don't forget to compliment her hair.