Barney Quote #1957
Quote from Barney in Knight Vision
Robin: Please, is there any way you'd reconsider?
Reverend: No. No. No. You two are both terrible people.
Robin: Who found each other in this crazy world.
Reverend: And who lie about how they found each other. Please, leave now. Just...
Barney: You know what? You're right, we shouldn't have lied about our story. I love our story. Sure, it's messy, but it's the story that got us here, about to get married.
Robin: I love it too. Every messy chapter. I love that you slept with over 250 women before deciding that I was your favorite.
Reverend: This is killing me.
Barney: And I love that we had to keep having sex with each other even when dating other people.
Reverend: It's really killing me.
Robin: And I love that your marriage proposal involved a strip club, lying to me, and pretending to bang the woman I hate for two months.
Barney: I love that we keep a running tally of all the different rooms we've had sex in.
Robin: I love that two weeks ago, we put this room on that list.
Barney: Ah. Come on, rev, that's got to be worth some kind of reaction. I mean, right where your hymnal is, is where we... We... [chuckles] Well, that's not what you want.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Knight Vision’ Quotes
Quote from Lily
Reverend: Well, I talked to Barney and Robin and let me say, I am shocked.
Lily: You should be.
Reverend: Flat-out lying to me like that?
Lily: We are not misunderstanding each other.
Reverend: How dare you pretend their beautiful story is actually your own?
Lily: Come again for Lil' Fudge?
Quote from Barney
Ted: Look at this, your wedding weekend.
Barney: I know, this close to finally having sex again. It's been forever.
Ted: Oh, you and Robin been abstaining?
Barney: Talking about you, Ted. Here's the deal. Every hookup at a weekend wedding is decided at Friday night drinks. Get stuck with the wrong girl tonight, the only action you'll get all weekend is a self-five. And I don't mean the cool kind. [laughs] Self-five. That's the cool kind.
Quote from Barney
Ted: Huh. It's a big decision.
Barney: The biggest. It brings to mind that religious text which we hold most sacred. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
[fantasy scene of Ted as Indiana Jones and Ted as a collaborator:]
Barney: Remember? They entered a chamber.
Ted: Really? I'm the one working with the Nazis?
Barney: Ted... Just... Just... Okay? They had to choose which cup was this special cup. I forget what it was called,
it was like the Holy Grail of cups.
Ted: It was the Holy Grail.
Barney: Of cups, exactly. So the Nazi confederate chose, and...
Ted: Don't make me do that, I'd rather...
Barney: Ted, Ted, the confederate Nazi chose and...
Ted: Okay. Okay. And now I'm gonna explode.
Knight Templar: He chose poorly.
Barney: Then Indy picked a cup, and...
Knight Templar: You chose wisely.
[Barney starts playing guitar and rocking out with girls in bikinis]
[reality:]
Barney: So choose wisely, Ted.