Ted Quote #1353

Quote from Ted in Knight Vision

Ted: Oh, that's terrible. Should I make a toast in his honor?
Knight Templar: [mouths] No, no, no.
Ted: Of course I should. Everyone? To Reverend Lowell. He may have passed away tonight, but he will always...
Cassie: Uncle Robert died? Oh, no. [sobs]
Ted: Have a nice weekend.
Future Ted: [v.o.] All that night, I did nothing but choose poorly. But thanks to Cassie, I didn't get together with anyone at that wedding. And if I had, well, then your mother and I might never have met. So maybe, in a way, I chose wisely. Although it sure as heck didn't feel like it at the time.
Knight Templar: She chose Wesley. Ha, ha. I've been dying to say that one all night.

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 ‘Knight Vision’ Quotes

Quote from Lily

Reverend: Well, I talked to Barney and Robin and let me say, I am shocked.
Lily: You should be.
Reverend: Flat-out lying to me like that?
Lily: We are not misunderstanding each other.
Reverend: How dare you pretend their beautiful story is actually your own?
Lily: Come again for Lil' Fudge?

Quote from Barney

Ted: Look at this, your wedding weekend.
Barney: I know, this close to finally having sex again. It's been forever.
Ted: Oh, you and Robin been abstaining?
Barney: Talking about you, Ted. Here's the deal. Every hookup at a weekend wedding is decided at Friday night drinks. Get stuck with the wrong girl tonight, the only action you'll get all weekend is a self-five. And I don't mean the cool kind. [laughs] Self-five. That's the cool kind.

Quote from Barney

Ted: Huh. It's a big decision.
Barney: The biggest. It brings to mind that religious text which we hold most sacred. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
[fantasy scene of Ted as Indiana Jones and Ted as a collaborator:]
Barney: Remember? They entered a chamber.
Ted: Really? I'm the one working with the Nazis?
Barney: Ted... Just... Just... Okay? They had to choose which cup was this special cup. I forget what it was called,
it was like the Holy Grail of cups.
Ted: It was the Holy Grail.
Barney: Of cups, exactly. So the Nazi confederate chose, and...
Ted: Don't make me do that, I'd rather...
Barney: Ted, Ted, the confederate Nazi chose and...
Ted: Okay. Okay. And now I'm gonna explode.
Knight Templar: He chose poorly.
Barney: Then Indy picked a cup, and...
Knight Templar: You chose wisely.
[Barney starts playing guitar and rocking out with girls in bikinis]
[reality:]
Barney: So choose wisely, Ted.