Future Ted: [v.o.] Yes, my mom was lapping me. Getting married for a second time, before I was even married once. I was so happy for them, so freaking happy. Still, weddings can be magical. For all I knew, I'd end up sharing a dance with my own future wife there.
Woman: And if you don't boil those jam jars, it's just a welcome mat for bacteria.
Future Ted: That wasn't her.

Virginia Mosby: I feel like I'm 19 again. It's like the last 35 years of my life never happened.
Ted: So wonderful to hear, Mom.
Clint: Son, to show that your mom and I will always be there for you, I want you to have this beautiful picture, that I painted.
All: [gasp]
Future Ted: Kids, there was no guitar.

Barney: Guys, guys. Guess what Robin just did?
[flashback to moments earlier:]
Barney: Are you crying?
Robin: I know it's stupid, but... [singing] And the dragon.... I'm happy, you know.
Barney: Not as happy as I am, Robin. Guys, guys. Guess what Robin just did?
[present:]
Barney: And then, I told you guys what Robin just did, but you were there for that. I got to tell the rest of the wedding. Aunt Meredith.

Ted: I went to my favorite real estate auction site. Come on, we've all got one. Scrolled through a few properties and... Guys, I just bought my dream house.

Lily: What do you mean you bought this house?
Ted: I mean, I made a bid online, I won the auction the next day, and I got approval. I just finalized the paperwork.
Barney: And was the Blair Witch easy to deal with, or did she haggle over the closing costs?
Marshall: Don't even joke about that, man.

Ted: So, I'm thinking this room will be the study. You know, a place just for Dad. I mean, the kids are welcome in here, if they're reading a book, but no toys. It's not a question of withholding love. It's a question of drawing boundaries.
Robin: Whoa.

Barney: You know, I'm glad Robin got it right. [whispering] 'cause she's very sensitive and fragile. I'm referencing the time she cried at Clint's song. And even though I'm whispering, I actually hope she hears me.

Robin: It wasn't me.
Lily: What?
Robin: I'm not the one who cried at Clint's song.
Ted, Marshall & Lily: [gasp]
[flashback to Virginia and Clint's wedding:]
Robin: Are you crying?
Barney: I know it's stupid, but... [singing] And the dragon [talking] They're just so happy, you know.
Robin: Not as happy as I am.
Barney: I will give you $500 if this just happened to you instead of me.
Robin: 500 bucks? Deal.
Barney: Thank you, Robin. You just saved me unspeakable public humiliation and shame. Guys, guys. Guess what Robin just did?

Robin: Hey, well, the good news is, the inspector killed some roaches on impact.
Lily: Hold on. [writes] Giant hole in second floor. Just want to make sure the report is thorough.

Ted: Thanks, Lily. That felt fantastic.
Lily: Aw! To Ted Mosby. Homeowner, friend, and if he can rent it out, slumlord.