Lily: Hey, there's the anchor lady! How was it?
Robin: Oh, I don't know. Why don't you ask the new substitute weekend anchor. Robin? Thanks, Robin, it was awesome. Back to you, Robin.

Lily: You know who she is? But, you weren't even at the wedding.
Robin: Actually, I kind of was.
Lily: What?
Robin: Well, after the newscast, I was so excited, I decided to surprise Ted by going to the reception.

Robin: [crying] Dammit. Stop it. What the hell?
Victoria: Hello? You OK in there?
Robin: Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Just allergies or something. I'm fine.
Victoria: Listen, do you wanna come and cry out here? I've been told I'm an excellent hugger.
Robin: Oh, thanks, but I don't actually cry in front of people, or cry at all for that matter. Man, it's gross. Does everyone snot up this much when they cry?
Victoria: Hey, you're speaking to a fellow snotter. So, why are you crying?

Lily: Because you have feelings for Ted.
Robin: I don't know, maybe.
Lily: OK, what is wrong with the two of you?! Seriously. He likes you and you like him, just, just, just be together. Jeez, Louise, happiness is not that difficult.

Robin: Oh, look, OK. Yes, I cried in the bathroom, and that was weird. But that doesn't mean I'm in love with the guy. The fact is I don't know how I feel.
Lily: Yes you do. Seeing him with someone else and crying about it. Guess what? That's how you feel. That is nothing but how you feel.
Robin: OK, fine, I have feelings for him. Happy?
Lily: Kinda, yeah.
Robin: But it doesn't change anything. I still don't wanna get married and he's still... Ted. What I should do is just tell him who Victoria is so he could be happy.
Lily: Or you could tell him you're into him and then you could both be happy.
Robin: I'm gonna go find him.
Lily: Well, wait. Which one are you gonna tell him?
Robin: I have no idea.

Barney: And here's the most amazing part. Because I told her I converted all my money to India dollars, she gave me fifty bucks to take a cab to the airport. That's right, I just got paid for sex. [takes the fifty out] I really should give this money to the Peace Corps. They've done so much for me lately.

Ted: Buttercup Bakery. She wasn't on the guest list because she wasn't a guest. She made the cake.
Marshall: She made that cake. Ted, this is the girl. You gotta marry her, today. She has to move in with us.

Ted: I'm going down to that bakery.
Lily: No, no, don't do it.
Marshall: Baby, what are you talking about?!
Ted: Yeah, all day long, you've been busting my apple bag about finding this girl.
Lily: Well, I just think that maybe she's not that into you and that's why she didn't give you her number. Robin, care to chime in with anything?
Robin: Yes. Ted. Go get her.

[flashback to Ted and Victoria at the wedding:]
Ted: You know, there's one little flaw in our plan.
Victoria: What's that?
Ted: I'm gonna go home tonight with a lot of great memories and one really sucky memory: the memory of you walking out that door.
Victoria: Hey, Ted.
Ted: Yeah?
Victoria: Close your eyes, and count to five.
[Ted closes his eyes]
Ted: One, two, three, four, five.
[Ted opens his eyes to find Victoria gone]

Ted: And to our dying day, we will remember everything about that night as perfect. Maybe we both need that. So many things go wrong in life, but this is the one thing that never will. It'll always, always be pure, unadulterated awesome. If I walk in there, I'm robbing both of us of what could be...
Barney: The meter's running, dude. Crap or get off the pot.
Ted: Okay.