Lily: Wow. It is just...
Mr. Druthers: Spectacular? Why, thank you.
Ted: Lily, this is Mr. Druthers, the head architect on the project. Lily's going to be our new office assistant.
Mr. Druthers: Ah.
Lily: Nice to meet you.
Marshall: Isn't it?

Mr. Druthers: Ted, I looked at your design for the penthouse balcony. Tell me, do you want to be an architect?
Ted: I, uh... I am an architect.
Mr. Druthers: Really? Well, my six-year-old nephew plays with Legos. Is he an architect?
Ted: Well, not unless he somehow passed all his licensing exams.
Mr. Druthers: Ted, you've got promise. But you have to study what I do more carefully. Now I want you to design some Styrofoam trees for the building model. Think you can handle that?
Ted: Absolutely.

Mr. Druthers: So you're going to design the...
Ted: Styrofoam trees.
Mr. Druthers: Once again, with feeling.
Ted: Styrofoam trees.
Mr. Druthers: Styrofoam trees!
Ted: Styrofoam trees!
Mr. Druthers: That's the spirit. Now, gather 'round. This isn't just about trees, Ted. This is about life. And sometimes in life, you have to get the trees just right or you're fired, hmm? [exits]
Lily: Man, that guy is a total, well... [gestures to the building model]

Marshall: Wait, wait, wait. I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with you hunting my constitutional law professor.
Barney: Who do you rather have grading your papers: a savage, man-eating jungle cat, or a purring, satisfied kitty?
Marshall: Go, Barney. Go mount and stuff that cougar.

Barney: [in an Italian accent] Scusi, I am Luigi, Italian exchange student. I was, uh, walking to class, but then I noticed you. Bella principessa...
Professor Lewis: Tell me what you want or get out.
Barney: Direct. I like that. The name's Barney. What I want... is you.
Professor Lewis: Turn around. [Barney spins around] My place. Two hours. Don't be tardy.

Lily: I can't believe how Mr. Druthers treats people. And that building? Talk about overcompensating.
Ted: He's not usually this bad. It's just that the partners have made it very clear this project is make or break for us, so lately he's been a little testy. [the girls giggle] You know what I mean, crotchety. [more giggles] I'm just saying it's been hard on him. [more giggles]. All right stop.

Robin: Did you show Lily your design?
Ted: No.
Lily: What design?
Ted: It's nothing.
Robin: It's fantastic. Just for fun, Ted's been working on his own design. And it doesn't look at all like male genitalia. At least, not healthy male genitalia.

Lily: Ted, you should pitch your building to Druthers.
Ted: Are you kidding? He's Hammond Druthers. He's a legend. I'm just part of his team. This building is huge for the firm, so it's really important we don't blow it. [Lily giggles] All right, enough!

Barney: Oh, my god. Incredible.
Professor Lewis: Hmm. C-.
Barney: C-? What are you talking about? I just pulled an all-nighter!
Professor Lewis: You didn't budget your time well, you glossed over some of the most important points, and your oral presentation was sloppy and inconclusive.

Lily: Mr. Druthers asked if you were making the trees or waiting for them to sprout on their own. And then he stared at me until I laughed.