[flashback to Barney and Nora at dinner:]
Barney: I mean, I like being single, but secretly, I want to have kids.
Nora: How many do you want?
Barney: Three. One of each. You?
Nora: Three. All in an old stone house.
Barney: Yeah, with ivy growing on it.
Nora: Cocktails on the patio.
Barney: And we must have a pool.
Nora: We? ... A pool sounds brilliant. Are you for real, Barney?
Barney: I really am.
[later, at MacLaren's:]
Robin: Unbelievable.
Nora: I know, right? And the second reason we popped in is 'cause I need to use the loo. But when I get back, I'm dying to hear all about Mr. Softy here.
Barney: I assure you, that's not a nickname that I... [Lily punches Barney in the chest]
[present:]
Dr. Kirby: And that explains your 14-second cardiac arrest.

Barney: Guys, this is real. And if you don't make me look good in front of Nora, just remember: I've got dirt on each of you, and I am not afraid to spill it.
Lily: Barney, you can't blackmail us into lying to Nora.
Barney: Really, Lily? Even if I were to mention, oh, I don't know... your kindergarten class's pet guinea pig?
Lily: [gasps] Mr. Buttons? Oh, you son of a bitch. Fine. I'll be nice.

Barney: Marshall?
Marshall: You got nothing on me.
Barney: The calzone?
Marshall: Checkmate.

Barney: Robin.
Robin: [under her breath] Don't say the Mr. T dream, don't say the Mr. T dream, don't say the Mr. T dream...
Barney: The Mr. T dream.

Barney: Ted?
Ted: Go ahead. Give me your best. My life's an open book.
Barney: The ballet class.
Ted: I once took a ballet class. Not ashamed.
Barney: The 'N Sync concert.
Ted: 1998. Cleveland's Gund Arena, front row. Caught JC's shirt. What else you got?
Barney: Okay, Ted. The thermos.
Ted: I suppose it's possible Barney has real feelings for Nora.

Nora: Really? So Barney really is a genuinely a nice guy.
[Marshall covers Lily's glass and whispers in her ear]
Lily: I don't recall.
Marshall: Okay, I think that we're done here, I think that we have adequately established that Barney is... the kind of guy that you would bring home to meet your parents.

Nora: It's funny you should say that, because, as it happens, my parents are in town. They're only here like once a year. We're getting brunch tomorrow. Do you want to meet them?
Future Ted: [v.o.] This was a big deal for Barney.
[flashback to a drunk Barney at MacLaren's:]
Barney: I only have one rule. [all sigh] Never, ever, ever meet a girl's parents.
Ted: Not even if she's hot?
Barney: Not even if her mom's hot.
[back:]
Barney: I'd love to meet your parents.
Nora: It's a date.

Nora: Well, we should get going. Walk me home?
Scooby: Walk? Somebody say walk? I'll go for a walk. I love a good walk.
Barney: No, Scooby, you, uh... stay!
Robin: Oh, no. I got called back in to work. Can you keep an eye on him until I get back? He's new to the city, and he doesn't really know anyone.
Ted: I knew it. I knew it. I knew if you got a dog, I'd wind up taking care of it.
Robin: He's not a- [Robin sees Scooter scratching his ear] Good night.

Scooby: What do we do now? Oh! I got an idea. I was in the park today, and this guy sold me a big bag of...
Future Ted: [v.o. to kids] Kids, it was a big bag of sandwiches.
Ted: Whoa.
Marshall: Put that away.
Scooby: You guys want to fire these up?
Lily: Scooby, we're in our 30s. We don't smoke sandwiches anymore.
Ted: Sandwich brownies?
Lily: Okay.

Marshall: Sandwiches make me hungry.
Ted: Truth. Hey. I have a question.
Marshall: Yeah?
Ted: What did Barney mean when he said "calzone"?
Marshall: Okay, I'll tell you.
Ted: Okay.
Marshall: One time Barney saw me drop a calzone on the sidewalk, pick it up, and then keep eating it. It feels so good to finally say that out loud. I...
Ted: Dude. Listen to me. You have nothing to be ashamed of. That calzone sounds amazing.
[Ted and Marshall hug]