Robin: Oh, hey, guys. This is Nate. Nate, these are my friends.
Scooby: What's up. guys? Nate Scooberman. But everyone calls me Scooby. I'd love to hang out, but I really gotta hit the john.
Ted: Uh, yeah, it's right in here... Scooby.
Scooby: Thanks, brah. I like you guys. [exits]
Marshall: Oh, Robin, if you weren't so much stronger
than me, I would slap you.
Robin: What? You told me to meet someone.
Marshall: I know, and, look, he seems plenty nice, but I didn't mean bring home the first guy you bump into on the street.
Robin: Actually, I met him in the park.
All: Oh.
Ted: Should have just let you get a dog.

Barney: So, um, I made an appointment with that cardiologist.
Lily: Aw, and you want me to go with you 'cause you're a little scared?
Barney: [scoffs] No.
Lily: Do you want me to go with you because you're a lot scared?
Barney: [whiny] Yes!

Lily: Okay, fine. On one condition. You have to promise me you won't lie to Nora. She seems like something special.
Barney: Okay, I promise I won't lie to her. I may, however, lie on her. I said, bang-bang, bangity-bang. [singing] Bang-bang-bang, bangity-bang
[later, in the doctor's office:]
Barney: [singing] Bang, bang, bangity bang...
Dr. Kirby: Are we done?
Barney: A bang-bang, bangity-bang.

Dr. Kirby: It's probably nothing to worry about, but I'd like you to wear this heart monitor for the next 24 hours.
Barney: Twen... Flag on the play, Doc. I have a date tonight.
Dr. Kirby: Don't worry. It's totally safe. Unless part of your big date involves connecting yourself to a car battery.
Barney: Well, now it doesn't.

Dr. Kirby: What happened at 8:46 p.m. last night?
Barney: Well, let's see... Uh, Wheel of Fortune, naked push-ups, naked chin-ups... I was at dinner.
[flashback to Barney and Nora at a restaurant:]
Nora: This might be a little forward, but do you have a bomb strapped to your chest?
Barney: This? No, no. It's a heart monitor. It's a medical thing.
Nora: Oh, I'm so sorry. I've been trying not to stare at your chest all night.
Barney: [chuckles] What's that like?

[flashback to Barney and Nora at a restaurant, with Barney wearing a heart monitor:]
Nora: Um, Barney, what I'm about to say is going to sound a little weird, but I think I'm starting to like you, so I have to say it.
Barney: Well, for what it's worth, I'm not easily shocked. Unless you dump water on me, 'cause I'll just... [imitates electrical crackling] What is it?
Nora: I want to get married. I mean, not tonight, or even to you, necessarily. But that's what I want. And if that's going to scare you off, then I'd rather it scare you off now. [monitor: rhythmic beeping] I want a family, and I want to live in a little house with a garden and a tree for the kids to climb. [rapid beeping] And I want to go
to sleep every night with the same person by my side, and wake up next to him in the morning every morning [very rapid beeping] for the rest of our lives. [flatline] Just thought you should know that.
[Barney flashes back to Lily telling him not to lie to Nora]
Barney: That's exactly what I want, too.
[present: Lily slaps Barney in the face at the doctor's office]

Scooby: I'm really into gardening, but these squirrels keep messing with my tomatoes. Every time I see them in the backyard, I'm like, "Get out of here!" And they run off, but sure enough, a few minutes later, there they are again. And I'm like, "Get out of here!" So annoying. [sniffing] I smell food. Does this place have a kitchen? I'll be right back.
Robin: Okay, but you have to admit that he is a lot of fun.
Marshall: Oh, I actually think he's quite intelligent for what he is.
Robin: And what is he?
Marshall: He's a dog.
Ted: He's totally a dog.
Robin: What? You saw him hitting on someone?
Marshall: No, I didn't say, "He a dawg." I said, "He's a dog." As in, a dog. I think we've all noticed a few curious mannerisms. Or rather, doggerisms.

Ted: And the best part is, he got his shots.
Scooby: Hey, guys, got my shots.
Marshall: You are so playful.
Ted: Nice job fetching those.
Robin: Guys...
Lily: Yeah, guys, cut it out. Scooby, sit.
Marshall: So, Scooby, we were thinking if you're going to be hanging out with our Robin, you should be properly vetted.
Ted: Uh, yeah. We hope our nosiness doesn't give you "paws."
Lily: How did you meet? Tell us the "tail""
Marshall: Yes, how did you "whisker" off her feet?
Ted: Shed a little light on the matter.
Lily: Did you send her an e-mail, or did you "collar"?
Robin: Guys, just stop hounding him. Oh, geez.

Marshall: No, no, you're right, Robin. We don't want your new guy to "flea."
Lily: We're just trying to make sure he's not a heel.
Ted: So, moving from Canada, that transition must have been pretty "ruff."
Scooby: Sure was. My part of Canada's pretty different from New York.
Lily: Oh, I bet it was an "Incredible Journey""
Marshall: What part of Canada is that? Speak.
Scooby: Labrador. [all laugh]
Robin: Hey, Nate, why don't you go play some music on the jukebox.
Scooby: No, I'm good.
Robin: [throws keys] Oh, shoot, dropped my keys.
Scooby: I'll get 'em. [runs off]
Robin: Okay.

Nora: We were just passing by, and I wanted to pop in for two reasons. First, I wanted to let you know that your friend Barney is being a perfect gentleman.
Robin: Well, it's still early.
Nora: I'm being serious. I had no idea that deep down, he's such a romantic.
Lily: I had no idea he had a deep down.