Brad: So you really aren't mad about Alan Bishop's column?
Randy: Well, not anymore. You know, I met him after school and I told him I didn't care for his journalistic style. Then his nose started to bleed.
Brad: Why?
Randy: Because that's where my fist happened to land.
Brad: All right!

Tim: Hi, everybody. Hello, studio audience. Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland. [crowd cheers] We have a great show for you today.
Al: That's right. We're gonna be showing you some tools being created down at Binford's research and development lab.
Tim: By scientists who work around the clock, ignoring both time and personal hygiene.
Al: Let's give a warm Tool Time welcome to Binford's own A.J. Sanderson! [crowd cheers]
Tim: A.J. You haven't been down here in a while. You're looking good. That hygiene quip was a joke.
A.J. Sanderson: I know that, Tim. You know, the thing about us is we both have a great sense of humor.
Tim: Now, you laugh, but I'm not kidding. A.J. has the best sense of humor of anyone down at R&D. I'll tell you right now.
A.J. Sanderson: What can I say? It's a gift.

Randy: Hey, Lauren. I've been looking all over for you. So did you hear what I did to Alan Bishop?
Lauren: Yeah, I heard.
Randy: Pretty cool, huh?
Lauren: Well, that depends on your definition of "cool."
Randy: Well, I guess I should have asked you this before, but what is your definition of "cool?"
Lauren: Well, it's not somebody who goes out and punches some guy just to prove how tough he is.
Randy: Well, it wasn't really a punch. You know, I mean, it was more of a tap. A nudge, really.
Lauren: Randy, why would you do something like that?
Randy: Well, I saw you and your friends reading the paper and laughing at me, and I just didn't want you to think I was a wimp.
Lauren: Randy, we weren't laughing at Alan Bishop's stupid column. We were laughing at a funny line you wrote in our article.
Randy: So then you never thought I was a wimp?
Lauren: No, but now I think you're a jerk.
[After Lauren walks away, Randy once again climbs in his own locker]

Tim: This isn't like you. You're smarter than this. Getting in fights? What's this all about?
Randy: Dad, I know. There were a bunch of kids around and I didn't want it to get back to Lauren that I was a wimp.
Tim: Well, roughing up somebody is no way to impress a girl.
Randy: It didn't impress Lauren. Let's face it, Dad. I know nothing about women.
Tim: Well, join the club. All I know about women is I've been ticking them off for years.
Randy: Well, I didn't even get started with Lauren and now it's over.
Tim: No, no, no, no, no, no. Another thing I know about women is that they'll give you another chance. Come on, your mom's given me 10,000.
Randy: I know what I should do. I should go to Lauren and just beg.
Tim: No! You're only 14 years old. If you start begging now, you'll have nothing to look forward to.

Jill: Hi, Wilson. Hi, Beach Boys.
All: Hidy-ho.
Jill: Um, guys, I hope you don't mind, but I was kinda thinking that...
Carl Wilson: Want us to sing a song?
Jill: Not just that. I'd like to sing with you.
Bruce Johnston: OK. So, you want to...?
Jill: I'd like to pick the song. Barbara Ann?
Mike Love: Anything else?
Jill: Key of G.