Tim Quote #2382
Quote from Tim in The Karate Kid Returns
Tim: Hi, everybody. Hello, studio audience. Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland. [crowd cheers] We have a great show for you today.
Al: That's right. We're gonna be showing you some tools being created down at Binford's research and development lab.
Tim: By scientists who work around the clock, ignoring both time and personal hygiene.
Al: Let's give a warm Tool Time welcome to Binford's own A.J. Sanderson! [crowd cheers]
Tim: A.J. You haven't been down here in a while. You're looking good. That hygiene quip was a joke.
A.J. Sanderson: I know that, Tim. You know, the thing about us is we both have a great sense of humor.
Tim: Now, you laugh, but I'm not kidding. A.J. has the best sense of humor of anyone down at R&D. I'll tell you right now.
A.J. Sanderson: What can I say? It's a gift.
More Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Karate Kid Returns’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Well, I just don't understand. Would it have been so horrible for them to have recorded one of my verses?
Tim: Why is this so important to you?
Wilson: I just always thought I had a flair for writing.
Tim: You do. I mean, you wrote a book.
Wilson: Yes, I did. The Psycho-Physiological Indices of Amorous Connections Among Termites of the Southwest.
Tim: And it's a great book. I'm halfway through the title already.
Wilson: Well, Tim, my book sold four copies. Fun, Fun, Fun sold four million.
Tim: Well, I think it's a fact of life people would rather have fun than termites.
Wilson: Well, the two are not mutually exclusive.
Tim: Hold on a second. Let me ask you a question here. What if one of your cousins had come to you with suggestions about things to put in your book?
Wilson: Well, don't be ridiculous. Why would I go to The Beach Boys for their views on entomology? [off Tim's look] Ahhh. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. And why would they come to me about writing surfer songs?
Quote from Tim
Tim: Nice to see you guys. This is just unbelievable. Wow! I mean, The Beach Boys right... Could I ask you a little favor?
Al Jardine: Hey, say no more. Two, three, four...
The Beach Boys: [sing] Little surfer Little one Made my heart Come all undone Do you love me? Do you, surfer...
Tim: That's a good song, you know. But I was kinda hoping... You know, l... I really like that. But I was hoping you could do one of your great car songs. Uh, like Little G.T.O.?
Mike Love: That wasn't our song.
Tim: No. [laughs] I mean Little Old Lady from Pasadena.
Matt Jardine: That was Jan and Dean.
Tim: Um... Hey Little Cobra!
Bruce Johnston: Sorry. Rip Chords.
Tim: Well, the only one I know is Little Deuce Coupe, and I know you didn't do that.
Carl Wilson: Actually, we did.
Tim: Well... and it was great.
Wilson: Well, it would've been if they'd used my lyrics.
Mike Love: Let's not start that argument again.
Tim Taylor Quotes
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.