Mark: Aren't you gonna eat breakfast, Mom?
Jill: No, honey, I have a test this week. Whenever I have a test, I get so anxious I lose my appetite.
Mark: That stinks.
Jill: No, it's great. Going back to college is like a built-in diet plan. I could be a size six by midterms.

Jill: Tim, it was just a teeny tiny scratch on the bottom of the door. Somebody nicked me at the grocery store.
Tim: Didn't you park where no one else could park next to you? Row three, slot 12.
Jill: I am so sorry. I lost that book you made me, Guide to Parking Spaces in Lower Michigan.

Tim: I got in an argument with Jill. She scratched the car and tried to fix it herself.
Al: Looks like a pretty good match. What is that? Red Passion Delight?

Al: Scotty, this is Tim. Scotty. He's our job site foreman.
Tim: Good to meet you, Scotty.
Scotty: Glad to meet you, Tim. I watch your show every day.
Tim: Good. Do I get to run that baby?
Scotty: No. Like I said, I watch your show every day. [Al chuckles]

Tim: Hi, and welcome to a special live edition of Tool Time. Today, we're gonna show you the operation of a 25-ton hydraulic truck crane. [grunts]
Al: That's right, Tim. We're gonna be using this crane to pick up and set a three-ton beam which will be used as a diagonal brace, also known as a kicker.
Tim: So you could call this a kicker picker-upper.
Al: I don't think so, Tim.

Tim: Before you do, let me jump inside and show our viewers some of the controls.
Al: Tim, maybe I should be... Tim!
Tim: Hold on a minute. Marv, as long as you're up here, let's get a close look at the controls. Let me show you. Look at this stuff. Now, this lever here swings the entire crane back and forth. Right, Al?
Al: That's right, Tim, but don't touch it. Now, get out of the cab and I will raise the beam.
Tim: Well, since I'm in here, I can't think of any reason why I shouldn't raise the beam.
Al: I can think of about 300.
Tim: This is the lever to raise the beam, right?
Al: Yes, that's it, right... but don't... No, Tim!
Tim: I'm doing it. I got it! I got it! I'm beaming up, Scotty.

Jill: Well, after we finish with this bodywork, I don't think I'm gonna be needing any more. How long do you think it's gonna be?
Eddie: Best-case scenario? A year.
Jill: A year?
Eddie: Hey, we're really busy.
Jill: No, look, I think there's been some kind of mistake. My car is the red Chevy Nomad.
Eddie: No mistake.
Jill: This makes no sense. Look, can I just see my car?
Eddie: Of course. Sure. It's right through here.
Jill: [gasps] Oh, my God! Oh, my God! My car! My car!
Eddie: Ah, you know, I have some good news. I think I see your book down there. Yeah. It's wedged. It's like, well, under the dashboard.

Tim: Hi. How's your studying going?
Jill: Fine. Except I have a test in three days and a book that I can see through.
Tim: Maybe it'll be an open-book test.
Jill: Ha ha ha.
Tim: I know I get crazy about cars, you know. My car, your car, anybody's car. But it's... It's like Bat Masterson said. You can't get obsessed the way old people drive through water if their servants are on fire.
Jill: No, I guess you can't.

Tim: You know what we should do? Buy you a new car.
Jill: A new car?
Tim: Yeah. Anything you want. I promise you won't hear a peep out of me.
Jill: Even if I want a boring station wagon with no options?
Tim: Peep peep.
Jill: That's what I thought. No, I would rather just wait for the Nomad to be fixed.
Tim: I thought it was just a hunk of metal that you didn't like.
Jill: I didn't mean it when I said that. I was upset. Actually, I love the Nomad. I like it when I pull up to stoplights and those car guys are there. They always rev their engine. Then I rev my engine, and waste 'em off the line. [Tim grunts]

Al: Tim. What do you do when I do this? [knocks on his own helmet]
Tim: You yell, "Come on in."
Al: No, that means to use the main hoist.
Tim: Yeah, yeah.
Al: All right, now, what does it mean when I do this? [raises his arm, points a finger towards the ceiling and makes a circular motion]
Tim: Let's party! Ow!
Al: No! It means to hoist the main load.