Lorelai: Food, me, give. Emergency BLT.
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: Emergency chili fries and a black-and-white shake. It's a three-alarm emergency.

Luke: Call her.
Lorelai: You mean, surrender? Never.
Luke: If you don't call her, she's gonna keep sending you stuff, sending me stuff.
Lorelai: She'll run out of stuff.
Luke: She'll buy more stuff.
Lorelai: She'll run out of money.
Luke: She's got endless money.
Lorelai: Luke, my mom has a tenth degree black belt in passive aggression. There is no counter to this move, which means I am not going to counter.
Luke: But I can't have a giant urn sitting in my restaurant.
Lorelai: Actually, it's more of a vase.
Luke: I don't care what it is. The thing weighs 300 pounds. Caesar said it took four guys to bring it in.
Lorelai: You got to admit, it does kind of spruce up the place.
Luke: It goes today.
Lorelai: Okay, okay, I'll work on figuring out how to get it out of here. I think it's actually one of a matching pair.

Richard: Emily, is she home?
Emily: No, she's out. I wouldn't burst in here like this if she were home.
Richard: We should not be here. This is prowling.
Emily: We're not prowling. You can't prowl in your own house. This is called "showing concern." Now, tell me what we're looking for.
Richard: I-I don't feel good about this. It's usually at this point in the John Le Carre novels where things go horribly wrong.

Lorelai: I'm so glad you ditched this zen thing. Because tonight, at the town meeting, I'm taking it to the people, and the people are gonna take it to Taylor.
Luke: Good, take it to him.
Lorelai: I've got a speech all planned, listing the years of Taylor wrongs, the abuses, the manipulations. And I'm gonna get in there and make people understand that they don't have to blindly follow Taylor Doose anymore.
Luke: Good. Do it. They'll follow you. They like you.
Lorelai: They do like me. I'm gonna use that.
Luke: I'd go, too, but I'd end up throwing a bench at him.
Lorelai: There is no need. I'll handle him.
Luke: Want some coffee?
Lorelai: I'm beyond coffee.
Luke: Beyond coffee. This is big.
Lorelai: I'm fueled by my righteous indignation. I'll fill you in later.

Lorelai: Anyhow, I told the town how I had given the best years of my life and we've turned the Dragonfly into a class A top-notch destination Inn and that leaving us off the map was petty and mean-spirited and just plain bad business.
Sookie: Amen. Kiss the ground. The south will rise again.
Michel: What happened then?
Lorelai: Then I turned to Taylor, and I said, "If you don't put us back on the map, it will be Molly Ringwald giving her underwear to Anthony Michael Hall, and he shows it to a roomful of boys who have all paid a dollar to see it."
Michel: Oh, come on.
Lorelai: No. That one, he got.

Lorelai: I like old-timey stuff. The Dragonfly's on third street, which is kind of boring.
Taylor Doose: Well, thank you, Lorelai, for your sound opinion. I think it's one of my better ideas.
Lorelai: I agree. It's not like the time you guaranteed the tourists a mosquito-free summer, and then released hundreds of bats all over town.
Miss Patty: Oh, that was a stinker.

Luke: I think changing the street names is a fine idea.
Lorelai: You're kidding.
Luke: No, change them all. Name them after cartoon characters. I'll be on Scooby-Doo Lane. It's all the same to me.

Michel: Do you have coffee?
Luke: You mean, here at my coffee shop? Let me think. Yeah.
Michel: Give it.
Lorelai: You're gonna need zen for him, too.
Michel: This is very early for me to get up.
Sookie: You'll survive, big guy.
Michel: I'm not at my best if I don't get my model's 12.
Sookie: Well, you hide it beautifully.
Michel: The key is absinthium with gingko extract. Like you're washing your face in a bowl of diamonds.

Emily: All I know is, I haven't seen him. And Rory is lying in bed till 8:30 every morning. That could be some sort of young woman's melancholia.

Emily: How did she look?
Richard: Fine.
Emily: Was she thin, heavy? Did she look tired? What was she wearing? Is she still on that netherworld of "I don't know what my hair is supposed to be"?
Richard: She looked just like Lorelai. It was a very brief conversation, not like the one you and I are having.
Emily: You should have told me, Richard. And this grapefruit is definitely sugared.