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‘Welcome to the Doll House’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Gilmore Girls: Welcome to the Doll House

606. Welcome to the Doll House

Aired October 18, 2005

Taylor Doose wants to promote tourism in Stars Hollow by reviving the historic streetnames. Meanwhile, Lorelai keeps receiving boxes of chotchkes, and Richard intercepts Logan for a chat when he comes to visit Rory.

Quote from Michel

Lorelai: Where is all this stupid stuff coming from?
Michel: Looks like classic Home Shopping Channel merchandise to me.
Lorelai: I have not bought anything off the Home Shopping Channel.
Michel: That you remember.
Lorelai: How could I not remember?
Michel: You could be deluding yourself, suppressing a shameful, costly, and yes, extremely tacky shopping addiction from your memory.
Lorelai: I do not have a Home Shopping Channel addiction. This does look familiar, like I've seen it before.
Michel: Mmm-hmm. And was Joan Rivers or Suzanne Somers holding it up?
Lorelai: I'm not buying these things.
Michel: You keep telling yourself that.

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Quote from Kirk

Kirk: Well, you can choose any of three historically anchored street names that pre-dated Sores and Boils Alley. It's a generous proposal.
Lorelai: Let's hear them.
Kirk: The first one is Constabulary Road.
Lorelai: Constabulary Road.
Kirk: It's a very nice name. Classic. Very evocative of old-time Stars Hollow.
Lorelai: Yes, it's very nice, but Kirk, that's the exact name of Esther Wilkins' Street. I mean, the exact name. It's taken.
Kirk: I know. Apparently, at one time, there were several streets named Constabulary Road in Stars Hollow.
Lorelai: Yeah, that would be incredibly confusing.
Kirk: Oh, it would be a disaster. It was back then, too. Mail was mis-delivered. Soldiers lost their way. It completely disoriented senior citizens. There was rioting, chaos, death. Everyone hated it.

Quote from Lorelai

Luke: Who? Who is this?
Lorelai: Emily Gilmore.
Luke: You're kidding.
Lorelai: For days, she's been emptying sending me everything she doesn't need anymore, trying to smoke me out of my foxhole.
Luke: Well, call her and tell her to knock it off.
Lorelai: Oh, no. That's exactly what she wants. I poke my head out of the foxhole, it gets blown off. Then I have no head, Luke.
Luke: There's a giant urn in my diner.
Lorelai: It started small. A clock, birdcage, some Victorian figurines, an old telescope. That was the ground war. She was softening me up. Now comes the aerial campaign. The carpet bombing. And I bet she'll bomb me with actual carpets.

Quote from Kirk

Lorelai: You took me off the map?!
Kirk: All cartographical decisions are strictly the province of the director of tourism.
Lorelai: You and I talked about the street names only this morning. How could the Dragonfly already be off the map?
Kirk: You know the saying: cross the don in the morning, sleep with the fishes in the afternoon. Plus, Taylor has one of those fast laser printers.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: So, I go to the town meeting. It's already started. And I come in the back door with the squeaky track, so everybody knows Lorelai's in the house.
Michel: It's very exciting.
Lorelai: Taylor's up there yammering about septic tanks, and Patty made her raisin cake, and everything's just going along. And suddenly, Taylor says, "It's time to break." And I stand up on the bench, totally Norma Rae, and I write "strike" on my town-meeting flier. And I hold it up, all defiant.
Sookie: Wow.
Lorelai: Of course, the "Norma Rae" reference was only in my head, and everyone was very confused.
Michel: Yes, it happens a lot with you.
Lorelai: So I march to the front, and I look this town in the eye. I said, "We, your Dragonfly Inn, are not on the map. We have been tossed off by Taylor 'jungle-gym monitor' Doose. It is not right. And he must be stopped. " And since no one heard my conversation with Luke, I lost them again for a minute, but I got them back real quickly.
Michel: You really need to work on that.
Sookie: Let her talk!

Quote from Sookie

Lorelai: Sorry I'm late. I found Paul Anka hiding underneath the kitchen sink, chewing on one of my favorite pairs of shoes.
Sookie: Boy, that guy's career has really hit the skids. [chuckles] Okay, that is officially my last "Paul Anka, the person, is living in your house" joke.

Quote from Kirk

Kirk: I'm Phineas, and this is my brother Zebediah. We have come a long way through space and time. We hail from Stars Hollow. I, a silversmith, and he, a simple cobbler.
Andrew: With good rates.
Kirk: I will cobble a... cobbled thing for a ha'penny.
Sookie: Does Kirk know what a cobbler is?
Lorelai: I'm guessing "no."

Quote from Babette

Taylor Doose: The more charm a town has, the greater its tourism revenue.
Miss Patty: We've got charm.
Babette: Yeah, you wouldn't believe the bikini waxes Lisa's doing at the beauty parlor. Any shape you can imagine. So clever... and charming.

Quote from Lorelai

Lane: So, what's going on in the world?
Lorelai: Nothing.
Lane: Nothing?
Lorelai: Good. Nothing good. There's absolutely nothing positive going on anywhere in the world. How could that be?
Lane: That's why I don't read the paper anymore.
Lorelai: You will mine. I am starting my own. The Good News Daily: nothing but good news every day.
Lane: Sounds good.
Lorelai: "No civil war in Canada", big article. "Cars drive down road without incident", front-page news. "Puppies - how cute are they?", in-depth expos. And the subscription is free. How happy is that?

Quote from Luke

Luke: It's taken me a ridiculous amount of years, but when it comes to Taylor, I've adopted a zen attitude.
Lorelai: Zen?
Luke: Go with the flow. Let the river Taylor take you where it may. Don't fight it. Just let it happen.
Lorelai: What if he wants to paint the diner pink for Easter like he did last year?
Luke: Then let the building be pink.
Lorelai: What if he decides we should dress up as our favorite tree again for Arbor Day?
Luke: Wrap me in bark, fill me with sap and tell me where to stand.
Lorelai: Well, what if he wants to photoshop a picture of you with your arm around him and slap it on a billboard that overlooks the whole town?
Luke: The river zen-
Lorelai: You're sitting on his lap.
Luke: ...will keep on flowing.
Lorelai: Holding a rattle.
Luke: Let me keep my zen.

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