Luke: Isn't it some kind of kids movie?
Lorelai: Wait a minute. Have you never seen this movie?
Luke: Never.
Lorelai: We got us a Pippi virgin.
Rory: I didn't think there were any left.
Lorelai: And it's not a kids movie.
Rory: It's a classic of surrealism.
Lorelai: And bizarre cinematography.
Rory: And atonal singing.
Lorelai: And forced acting.

Luke: Does he have to be all over her like that?
Lorelai: Who? Kirk? It's healthy for him. His complexion has never been better.
Luke: Dean.
Lorelai: All they were doing was holding hands.
Luke: Yeah. It was that innocent.
Lorelai: Unless he has a third hand, he wasn't holding anything he wasn't supposed to be holding.

Lorelai: Did she own that house she lived in before she rode the horse into town, or did she buy it with her gold coins?
Rory: That's a good question.
Lorelai: Oh, yeah, I see a prequel in the works. The Adventures of Pippi in Escrow.
Rory: I'd go see it.

Lorelai: Luke, you're mad at Dean from years past. What's past is past. They're a couple now. Do you even remember why you're mad at him?
Luke: He's a punk. That's what I remember. Just look at his history. He broke her heart before.
Lorelai: Well, their problems were mutual. You don't know the whole story.
Luke: He got married and bailed out before the honeymoon was even over.
Lorelai: Well, when you're young, you make mistakes.
Luke: He was pining for Rory, and he got married. That's unstable.
Lorelai: He's 19. Give him a break.
Luke: He doesn't know what he wants. He's proven that. How can Rory trust him now?
Lorelai: Matters of the heart are not science. There are no sure things.
Luke: He's not good enough for her.
Lorelai: Well, who is? Jess?
Luke: No, not Jess. A prince, maybe. One that's in line to be king. You know, not one of those waiting-for-a-brother-to-die ones, but a real one. If not a prince, someone who's gonna be good for her.

Luke: You know, Rory is like Pippi.
Lorelai: Pippi?
Luke: She can have adventures and be free, she's smart. The whole world's waiting for her.
Lorelai: You're comparing Rory to Pippi Longstocking?
Luke: Pippi is strong and independent. She can lift a horse above her head. Uh-huh. And beat up bullies and build a hot-air balloon. She's unique, like Rory. But I guarantee you, if Pippi had met Dean, there would be no horse, no balloons. He'd drag her down to his level, spend all her gold coins, and poof, like that, all her dreams would be gone.
Lorelai: Look, it's Rory's choice who she chooses to be with. Not yours, not mine.
Luke: Well, does it feel right to you? Are you okay with this Rory-and-Dean thing?
Lorelai: [sighs] I just need this to work.
Luke: Look at me. Not stopping till he's upset every person that means anything in the world to him in one night. [they hug] You want a beer?
Lorelai: Yes. [sighs] Maybe if I brought out the Twister.
Luke: Maybe.

Lorelai: Jackson, before you go, I need your John Hancock on that there.
Jackson: Oh, yeah?
Lorelai: Yeah, just right at the bottom. I was just ordering a ton of extra, you know, vegetables and stuff. It's just to sign and confirm that I'm ordering that stuff.
Jackson: Hey, this is for those extra parking spaces you need. It's selectman business.
Lorelai: Really?
Jackson: Et tu, former friend?
Lorelai: I just need your signature. It's your duty.
Jackson: So impeach me. [exits]
Sookie: I'll forge that for you.
Lorelai: Thanks.

Richard: So Dickie high tails it to his office and e-mails me within seconds.
Rory: Dickie's the other you at your office, right?
Richard: Well, there's no other me.
Rory: You know what I meant, Grandpa.
Richard: Eh, Dickie and I share some duties. We lunch occasionally, socialize a bit. But he would cut my throat in a heartbeat, as I would his.
Rory: It's like Rikers Island, except everyone drives a Jag.
Richard: Well, Dickie made a mistake. He e-mailed me, thinking that I wouldn't read it for days, but I read it the minute he sent it. He figured my weekend starts at lunch on Fridays, as so many others do. Error followed by error.
Rory: That man needs to reread his Sun Tzu.

Richard: I saw the most preposterous thing on TV the other night. It's been ages since I've just flipped through the channels, and the horrors to be discovered there.

Luke: Hey, what brings you here?
Lorelai: Caffeine withdrawal. And I like looking at you.

Emily: This little rinky-dink cart has nothing.
Lorelai: Dad got the big one?
Emily: He stole it away in the dark of night, so I'm stranded. I had our minister over a couple of days ago, and he had to go without his whiskey sour.
Lorelai: I bet he excommunicated you on the spot.
Emily: I've got vermouth, but no gin. Perfect.