Rory: [on the phone] So busy-busy. I know you are, too. And I think I'm coming down with swipe wrist. It's like carpal tunnel, only swipier. Call me if you have any suggestions on how to combat this or if you have Jerry Lewis' number, because maybe his next telethon should be for me.

Lane: I can't be here forever. I don't even go here.
Rory: The janitor's always here.
Lane: He doesn't go here. He works here.
Rory: So get a job here.
Lane: The jobs here are for the students.
Rory: The janitor's not a student.
Lane: You know what I mean.
Rory: So enroll.
Lane: Go to Yale?
Rory: Or be a janitor. Yale, janitor, in a hundred years, we'll all be dead. It's all the same.

Rory: We used to talk about living together. Remember, when we were little?
Lane: I know.
Rory: It was going to be a house made of cheese.
Lane: We had much debate about that. It was down to chocolate, cheese, or Brillo pads.
Rory: Why Brillo pads?
Lane: I think they just made us laugh.
Rory: You brought Stars Hollow here.
Lane: I'll visit. I promise.
Rory: Good.
Lane: Maybe one day we'll live in a house made of cheese.
Rory: I hope so.

Lorelai: Sookie, stop, turn, look. What do you think of my hair?
Sookie: Too much product?
Lorelai: Sookie, for the past six weeks, I have taken every meeting. I have been at the inn round the clock. I haven't had a second for myself. And all I asked for was just one hour to get my hair done, and then two seconds into the shampoo I get a phone call from a guy who sounds like a Kids in the Hall character telling me I have to get to the inn to okay a sink that I wouldn't know how to okay because I don't know what makes it okay. You know what makes it okay, which is why you said you would be there to say whether or not it was okay.

Luke: Pigs, gluttons.
Lorelai: Customers!
Luke: How could people eat this much?
Lorelai: Well, this is not all from one person, Luke.
Luke: It's disgusting. It's making me sick to my stomach.
Lorelai: Well then, have you ever thought that maybe you're in the wrong industry?
Luke: I should get rid of the plates, make 'em all strap on a feed bag, you know, hang bells around their necks. Enter them in county fairs.

Mrs. Kim: Hello, Lane.
Lane: Hello, Mrs. Kim. [Mrs. Kim walks past Lane] I'm staying at Lorelai's.
Mrs. Kim: Wear socks. [walks off]
Lane: Okay.

Rory: [on the phone] So I'm on my way to my professor's office to ask him a question about his last lecture because my pen was giving out, and I can't read my own writing, which is not at all true. However, it will give him a perfect opportunity to discuss my paper with me since I'm sure he's graded it by now, and since I'm also sure I'm in for a big helping of "Nicely done, Miss Gilmore, how about an 'A'." Call me.

Trix: Richard Gilmore, you're growing a mustache.
Emily: I know, the Ferrari is arriving on Tuesday.
Trix: I like it.
Richard: Thank you, Trix.
Trix: It makes you look like Adolphe Menjou.
Emily: Or Adolphe Menjou's cocaine dealer.

Jason: You know, I should get a globe. Every time you see a movie, and there's a really important character, and then you go into that character's office, they always have a globe.
Lorelai: You're hiding from my grandmother, aren't you?
Jason: She is scarier than Nick Nolte's mug shot.

Dean: What's wrong?
Rory: [sobs] Everything's falling apart. I thought I had it all under control, but I don't.
Dean: What? What was under control?
Rory: [sighs] Everybody else can handle the classes, but I can't. And I'm supposed to. I'm supposed to take five classes. Everybody else does. I mean, my grandfather did. [sighs] God, how am I gonna tell my grandfather that I failed?
Dean: You failed?
Rory: No, I didn't even get a chance to fail. I mean, I had to drop a class. I was told to drop a class.
Dean: That's not a big deal.
Rory: It's a really big deal. I'm not supposed to drop a class. I'm not the drop-a-class person. I get good grades. I handle things.
Dean: Hey, come on.
Rory: And Lane, she's not around anymore, and I I know she had to go, but I miss her, and I liked her there, and I haven't talked to my mom, and I need to talk to her, and she's not around. And I'm failing. I'm failing everything. I can't do it. I can't handle it. I'm messing everything up! Oh! God, just look at this.
Dean: Look at what?
Rory: You having to be nice to me. I mean, you shouldn't have to be nice to me. I was horrible to you, and now you're married to someone nice and who's not me and not a failure.
Dean: You are so not a failure.
Rory: Yes, I am. I just can't, I... I need to talk to my mom 'cause I just don't know what to do.
Dean: It's okay.