Rory: Well, if you need any help with anything, I've become the Rain Man of college application requirements.
Dean: Thanks. I might take you up on that.

Richard: This man is a genius. Listen to him play.
Rory: I'm glad you like it, Grandpa.
Richard: Oh, I must say, I am a very spoiled man. Chuck Berry, and the complete history of the Peloponnesian War.
Lorelai: Well, sure, 'cause a partial history would skip all the dirty stuff.
Richard: I especially like the way you wrapped the books in a bow tie. It's very, very clever.
Lorelai: I thought it would be appropriate.
Emily: And, of course, you're not forgetting your favorite gift.
Richard: Oh, yes, my beautiful humidor from my beautiful wife.
Emily: Thank you.
Richard: No, thank you. It's been a wonderful birthday.

Trix: You're single?
Lorelai: I'm single.
Trix: By choice, or do you scare the men with your independence?
Lorelai: Actually, I scare them with my Minnie Pearl impression.
Trix: The lady with the hat.

Trix: For the past year, I've been renting my home in Hartford to a group of musicians. They've recently moved out, so I had to come check on the house and secure a new tenant.
Lorelai: What kind of musicians?
Trix: A rock and roll group of some sort. I believe they call themselves Korn.
Lorelai: You rented your house to Korn?
Rory: That's so cool!
Trix: They were fine tenants. Took wonderful care of the place. They planted some lovely tulips in the front yard.

Trix: Now, how is the birthday going?
Richard: Wonderfully. They're spoiling me rotten. Emily got me the most beautiful humidor. It's from 1917, and was owned by a lieutenant in World War I.
Trix: You know, your father had a humidor that was owned by Victor Hugo.
Richard: Really?
Trix: I still have it if you'd like it.
Richard: Well, I'd love it.
Trix: Fine. I'll take care of it as soon as I get back to London.

Trix: Emily, I expect to return in twenty minutes. That should give you enough time to pull my gifts out of storage and place them around the room as if they actually stand there all year. [exits]
Lorelai: You want some help with those gifts?
Emily: Yes, please.

Sookie: Twelve courses, each paired with a specific wine, and for dessert, individual chocolate amaretto mousse cakes in the shape of a G.
Lorelai: Sookie, look what you've done.
Sookie: Over the top?
Lorelai: On a monumental scale.
Sookie: Exactly what I was going for. I'm also going to have individual little menus printed up and placed at each setting.
Lorelai: I love you for doing this.

Michel: Your mother is on the phone.
Lorelai: Oh, can you take a message?
Michel: You mean, do I have the physical and mental capabilities to take a message? Why, yes, I do, however...
Lorelai: I got it.

Emily: [on the phone] Did you hear what I said? That horrifying woman wants to see your house. Your house – the one with the monkey lamp.
Lorelai: Mom, relax.
Emily: Is it clean?
Lorelai: Yeah, it's clean.
Emily: If I came in there wearing white gloves, what would I find?
Lorelai: That you could pull a rabbit out of your hat?

Emily: [on the phone] I don't know what to do. Oh, nevermind, I'll just figure it out when I get there.
Lorelai: When you get where?
Emily: I'll call you later, Lorelai.
Lorelai: When you get where, Mom?
Emily: I'm turning onto your street now.
Lorelai: Mom, no!
Emily: I'll just let myself in. I know you keep a key in the turtle or some ridiculous thing like that.
Lorelai: Mom, I beg of you, make a very dangerous u-turn right now and go back where you came from.
Emily: I'm here. I'll talk to you later, Lorelai.