Lorelai: Is that our website?
Michel: It is.
Lorelai: What happened to it?
Michel: I made some modifications.
Lorelai: It's just a big picture of you.
Michel: Well, I figured since I'm the one who put the website together and I'm the one continuously updating the website, then I should be featured prominently on the website.
Lorelai: Featured? Sure. But where's the inn? All I see is your face.
Michel: Aha! But if you want to hear about the inn, you click on my mouth. See? And if you want pictures of the inn, you click on my eyes. And if you want to post something about the inn, you click on my ears. Clever, no?
Lorelai: You want to argue about this now or later?
Michel: Eh, later. I'm having too much fun.

Rory: [on the phone] Paris.
Paris: Larry Summers is right, Rory. Our university system is crumbling, did you know that?
Rory: Paris.
Paris: I just found out my microbiology final is an open-book exam. Can you believe that? I mean, why have us take the test at all? Why not just have our professors take it for us? Or better yet, they can just hand us our diplomas the moment we step on campus freshman year, along with some government cheese, a bong, and a t-shirt that says "Hard work is for suckers."

Rory: [on the phone] He's out of the I.C.U., so I guess that's a good thing. They said he's in serious but stable condition, but they won't tell me anything else because I'm not family.
Paris: Is he breathing on his own?
Rory: Yeah. I mean, I think so.
Paris: Well, what's his pallor? Is he peaked? Was there internal bleeding?
Rory: I have no idea. I quickly scribbled down some things off his chart. You're pre-med, can I read it to you? Maybe you can make some sense of it.
Paris: Forget it. I don't know how to read charts yet. I can tell you everything you want to know about the difference between recessive and dominant eye-color genes in fruit flies, but God forbid I learn how to read a chart before I'm a fourth-year surgical resident.

Lorelai: I forgot how much fun it could be just to put makeup on. It's become so pragmatic, such drudgery. It's like all we use it for now is to look better.
Sookie: And why would the two of us ever need to look better?
Lorelai: Exactly. Whatever happened to the questionably attractive glories of Wet 'n' Wild blue eye shadow or crimping irons?
Sookie: Remember Sun-In and Aqua Net and Bonne Bell lip smackers? I used to love Bonne Bell lip smackers.
Lorelai: Well, who doesn't love a lip gloss that doubles as a necklace? And they smelled so great.
Sookie: Except once, I had the chocolate-fudge-flavored one, and in study hall, Trevor Fink ate the whole thing, and then he threw it up all over my copy of The Red Badge of Courage.
Lorelai: Well, we all had a Trevor Fink in our lives.

Lorelai: All right, girls, um, you're about to meet someone very special to me. Her name is Molly Ringwald. Now, I know you don't know who that is, but suffice it to say, she is my generation's Audrey Hepburn. And I know you don't know who that is, either, but trust me, you're gonna love her. And yes, that is the guy from Two and a Half Men. All right, enjoy.

Lorelai: So, now, what did I do in front of the camera?
Sookie: Well, when you spotted the videographer, you got suddenly very excited to film your audition tape for America's Next Top Model.
Lorelai: Oh, my God!
Sookie: Yeah.
Lorelai: I thought that was a dream.
Sookie: It wasn't.
Lorelai: The posing, the strutting, the inappropriate gyrating?
Sookie: All caught on video and several of Zach's buddies' camera phones.
Lorelai: Why didn't you stop me?
Sookie: I tried. We all tried, but you were on a mission. You kept saying, "I'm not here to make friends. I want to win."

Luke: Thank god, someone sane.
Lorelai: Hello, weary traveler.
Luke: It's good to be back.
Lorelai: You look older, wiser.
Luke: Well, I did spend a lot of time squinting at historical documents.
Lorelai: That's what it is. Constitution face.

Lorelai: I'm just saying that Rory's birthday scavenger hunt of 1998 is still talked about in hushed, reverent tones.
Luke: Is that the one where all the kids ended up at Taylor's at 11:00 at night stealing stuff out of his fridge?
Lorelai: Shh! Hushed, reverent tones.

Luke: What can I get you, Kirk?
Kirk: How about a steaming cup of chicory coffee?
Luke: It's not on the menu, Kirk.
Kirk: I know. It's on the sign.
Luke: That's a mistake.
Kirk: Well, now all I can think about is chicory coffee. I'm very susceptible to signage.
Luke: Well, come back when you're susceptible to ordering off the menu.

Miss Patty: Okay, I've already gotten to the whole town, and they're all telling the "Endless Love" story. He'll never know.
Lorelai: Oh, thanks. I owe you, Patty.
Miss Patty: Oh, honey, please. I've given more drunken toasts than Colin Farrell. You owe me nothing.
Lorelai: Thanks, Patty.
Miss Patty: That Luke. It may take a mule team, but you're getting him to the altar someday.
Lorelai: Yeah, someday.