Kirk Quote #218

Quote from Kirk in Super Cool Party People

Luke: What can I get you, Kirk?
Kirk: How about a steaming cup of chicory coffee?
Luke: It's not on the menu, Kirk.
Kirk: I know. It's on the sign.
Luke: That's a mistake.
Kirk: Well, now all I can think about is chicory coffee. I'm very susceptible to signage.
Luke: Well, come back when you're susceptible to ordering off the menu.

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 ‘Super Cool Party People’ Quotes

Quote from Michel

Lorelai: Is that our website?
Michel: It is.
Lorelai: What happened to it?
Michel: I made some modifications.
Lorelai: It's just a big picture of you.
Michel: Well, I figured since I'm the one who put the website together and I'm the one continuously updating the website, then I should be featured prominently on the website.
Lorelai: Featured? Sure. But where's the inn? All I see is your face.
Michel: Aha! But if you want to hear about the inn, you click on my mouth. See? And if you want pictures of the inn, you click on my eyes. And if you want to post something about the inn, you click on my ears. Clever, no?
Lorelai: You want to argue about this now or later?
Michel: Eh, later. I'm having too much fun.

Quote from Paris

Rory: [on the phone] Paris.
Paris: Larry Summers is right, Rory. Our university system is crumbling, did you know that?
Rory: Paris.
Paris: I just found out my microbiology final is an open-book exam. Can you believe that? I mean, why have us take the test at all? Why not just have our professors take it for us? Or better yet, they can just hand us our diplomas the moment we step on campus freshman year, along with some government cheese, a bong, and a t-shirt that says "Hard work is for suckers."

 Kirk Gleason Quotes

Quote from Blame Booze and Melville

Kirk: Sally Forth is on fire today. On fire!
Luke: Where did you get a quarter of a million dollars!
Kirk: What? I don't have a quarter of a million dollars.
Luke: You don't?
Kirk: No. Just shy. It's $247,868. Sixty-seven, if I get a couple of donuts to go. Those chocolate raised are calling my name.
Luke: Where the hell did you get that much money?
Kirk: I've been working for eleven years, Luke. I've had fifteen thousand jobs. I've saved every dollar I've ever made. That and the miracle of compound interest has created a bounty of a quarter of a million dollars. Again, just under. I don't want to brag.

Quote from Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too

Kirk: I took it upon myself to poll the town, and I think you're gonna be pretty happy with the results.
Sookie: We are?
Kirk: Jackson is solidly in the lead.
Sookie: Already?
Lorelai: We just started bugging people.
Kirk: Well, I modeled my poll after the Gallup poll. The Gallup poll uses a sample of 1,005 voters to represent the 280 million people of the United States. Using that logic, the correct sampling size of the town of Stars Hollow would be 0.002. Rounding that up means one person needs to be polled, so I picked me.
Lorelai: You polled yourself?
Kirk: I was right there. Seemed like a perfect opportunity.