Miss Patty: Now it all starts.
Lorelai: What all starts, honey?
Miss Patty: First Fran, then the rest of us.
Lorelai: Patty, it's not the plague. It was just her time.
Miss Patty: I can't go.
Lorelai: Yes, you can. Come on.
Miss Patty: No, just leave me.
Lorelai: I'm gonna get her to the church.
Rory: I'll meet you there.
Lorelai: Come on, let's go.
Miss Patty: You know, it's times like these that you realize what is truly important in your life. I'm so glad I had all that sex. [sobs]

Luke: I'm in bed. I have ten more minutes to sleep. Not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things, but still, ten minutes is ten minutes. You know what I mean.
Lorelai: Sure, yeah.
Rory: Ten minutes is great.
Luke: And then the phone rings, and it just rings and rings and rings and rings, so I pick it up.
Lorelai: And then hopefully got your hearing checked.
Luke: Can I finish my story?
Lorelai: I'm just saying, that's a lot of rings.
Luke: And on the other end of the phone is someone named John who says he's Kyle's father, and Kyle threw a party last night without permission. And two guys got into a fight and tore the place apart, so John wants me to come down and take a look at the damage and discuss some sort of solution to the problem of the damages. Now, I don't know John, and I certainly don't know Kyle, but I do know someone who would get into a fight at a party and leave the place completely trashed. It's a wild guess, but I think his name rhymes with Tess. So here I am, heading in there to talk to John about Kyle and discuss what is to be done about the Hummel.
Lorelai: The what?
Luke: Exactly.

Taylor Doose: I come to announce to one and all that the day we all thought would never get here has arrived.
Kirk: Arbor Day?
Taylor Doose: No.
Kirk: The Day of Reckoning?
Taylor Doose: No.
Kirk: The day the music died?
Taylor Doose: Kirk.

Dave: Excuse me, Mrs. Kim, I need to speak with you.
Mrs. Kim: I'm busy, David.
Dave: A few weeks ago you told me that Lane had a crush on me. Well, I have a crush on her, too. Now, I know you have very strict rules about dating and boys, but I just want you to know that I'm a good person. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I've never gotten a ticket, I'm healthy, I take care of myself, I floss. I never watch more than 30 minutes of television a night, partly because I think it's a waste of time and partly because there's nothing on. I respect my parents, I do well in school, I never play video games in case they do someday prove that playing them can turn you into a serial killer. I don't drink coffee. I hate soda because the carbonation freaks me out. I'm happy to give up meat if you feel strongly about it. I don't mind wearing a tie. I enjoy playing those hymns on my guitar, and I really, really want to take your daughter to the prom. [Mrs. Kim rubs the chair furiously] Mrs. Kim? Please don't make me repeat that list again.
Mrs. Kim: Let never day nor night unhallow'd pass, but still remember what the Lord hath done.
Dave: Okay. Thank you.

Lorelai: Your first cop-raided party. I am just so proud.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: I just wish I could've been there.
Rory: It was no big deal.
Lorelai: Did they bring the paddywagon?
Rory: Yeah, but then we snuck out the backdoor of the speak-easy and headed straight for the Algonquin.
Lorelai: How was Benchley?
Rory: Drunk again.

Lorelai: So not only did you go to a cop-raided party but you started the raid?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: This fence is broken because of you, this crap is on the ground because of you.
Rory: What's your point?
Lorelai: [sings] Did you ever know that you're my hero?
Rory: Oh my God!
Lorelai: [sings] You're everything I would like to be. And I could fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Rory: So, how are you? How were things last night?
Lane: You mean, after my drunken call to my mother?
Rory: Yeah. What happened when you got home?
Lane: I'm not sure.
Rory: What do you mean you're not sure?
Lane: Well, after I finished with my Farelly brothers' audition in the bushes thank you for the hair-holding, by the way.
Rory: Anytime.
Lane: Dave dropped me off at home. He wanted to come in, but he's an only child and I saw no reason for his family line to end with him, so I went in and he left.
Rory: And?
Lane: The place was dark.
Rory: No Mrs. Kim?
Lane: No Mrs. Kim.
Rory: No Mrs. Kim.

Lane: So, of course, I panicked. What does this mean? I mean, when I come home ten minutes late from bible study, she has a cow. But I call her drunk, tell her I'm at a party, I'm a drummer in a band, and I'm in love with a non-Korean... I expected there to be backup aunts, uncles, cousins pulled out from villages I've never heard of, but nothing.
Rory: I don't understand.
Lane: So I go upstairs to make sure everything's okay. I look in her room and she's in bed asleep.
Rory: No.
Lane: Then this morning, I get up, I go in the kitchen where she's making breakfast and I say, "Good morning, Mama."
Rory: And?
Lane: She turns around, looks right at me and says, "Good morning, Lane."
Rory: Really?
Lane: And those were the last words she's said to me all day.
Rory: So she's freezing you out?
Lane: No, it was more Stepford than cold. You know, very calm, very serene.

Rory: Okay, well, let's think. Maybe she didn't hear you.
Lane: I was drunk, I could've slurred.
Rory: Exactly. Maybe she thought you said you were at a smarty, playing clock music, drinking fear, and in love with Rave Smitchalsky.
Lane: And how would that be better?
Rory: It's much less clear.

Rory: You have to talk to her, Lane.
Lane: I can't talk to her.
Rory: Well, what are you going to do?
Lane: Well, first off, I volunteered to work this table for the next two months. Plus, I told her I'd go to that Seventh Day Adventist college in Hartford and live at home.
Rory: Lane, no.
Lane: And I told Dave to forget about the prom. There's no way that's gonna happen.
Rory: I'm sorry.
Lane: Don't be, it's my fault.