‘Here Comes the Son’
Season 3, Episode 21 - Aired May 13, 2003
Jess leaves Stars Hollow for Venice, Los Angeles. Rory and Paris near the end of their time at Chilton. Meanwhile, Lorelai tries to thaw her relationship with her parents. [BACKDOOR PILOT]
Quote from Lane
Lane: I have decided to make this whole Seventh Day Adventist College experience a good one. I'm gonna look on the bright side, find the silver lining, and make myself some lemonade.
Lorelai: Well, good for you.
Rory: The campus looks pretty.
Lorelai: Very pretty.
Lane: It's got two huge parks with gardens and lakes.
Lorelai: Two parks.
Lane: One for boys and one for girls. And you know, I had originally thought that this was gonna be a suffocating place with out of date rules and insane restrictions, but boy was I wrong. For example, curfew is up to 9:30. 9:45 if you're going for your Masters. Makeup will be permitted, as long as it identically matches your skin tone. And owning a Rolling Stones CD is no longer grounds for expulsion. You can work the demerits off in the campus clean-up crew.
Lorelai: There's a separate park for boys?
Lane: My life is over.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: "Where's the ladies room?" "More coffee, please." "Does Antonio Banderas live near here?"
Rory: We do not need to know how to say "Does Antonio Banderas live near here?"
Lorelai: Oh, yes, we do.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: When we're in Spain, we need to know how to say, "Does Antonio Banderas live near here?" When in France, "Does Johnny Depp live near here?"
Rory: When in Rome, "Does Gore Vidal live near here?"
Lorelai: You know, you look like me, yet my ways are completely lost on you.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: Hey, how important do you think it is to be able to say, "Help, I'm bleeding from the head"?
Rory: Just bring the phrase books.
Lorelai: No. If we learn all the phrases we need, then the phrase books are one less thing we have to lug around.
Rory: We will never be able to learn all the phrases in every language that we're going to need. Bring the books.
Lorelai: We can learn enough. Plus, doesn't everybody speak English over there anyway?
Rory: Ugly American, party of one.
Lorelai: Fine, we'll bring the books.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: Every kid in that brochure was awkward and panicked. It looked like the Academy Award audience during Michael Moore's speech.
Rory: Hey, why don't you add the phrase "Just sit there and look pretty" to that list of yours there, okay?
Lorelai: I've gotta go back to studying. "Does that sexy guy in the Peugeot ad who had a bit part in Armageddon live near here?"
Quote from Lorelai
Rory: I've been up for hours.
Lorelai: Why? Did you have a bad dream? The one where you finally meet Christiane Amanpour and she's really stupid?
Rory: No, I realized last night that at this rate, I will never finish all the work I have to do.
Lorelai: What work?
Rory: "What work?" What work, she asks.
Lorelai: Well, you know me and that dippy Christiane, takes a little while to catch up.
Quote from Emily
Emily: Lorelai, do not get dramatic. Dinner is not ready, and even if it was, I would still not be able to invite you to stay because your father and I have plans tonight. We are eating quickly and then leaving.
Lorelai: To go where?
Emily: The Thompsons.
Lorelai: For what?
Emily: Book club.
Lorelai: What book?
Emily: Lovely Bones.
Lorelai: Did you like it?
Emily: It's not my taste but I respect the attempt.
Lorelai: Now I know where I get it from.
Quote from Lorelai
Rory: Where are you going?
Lorelai: I'm gonna drive in a circle backwards really fast to reverse the Earth's orbit to go back in time to before I made the insane decision to come here in the first place.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: So, Souplantation...
Rory: Hang on, I'm almost at the end of this chapter. Okay, let the raving begin.
Lorelai: A room full of all you can eat food. Soup, salad, pizza, pasta, chicken wings, ice cream, rainbow sprinkles. How did I not know about the rainbow sprinkles?
Rory: I have no good answers for you.
Lorelai: We are going back with Tupperware.
Quote from Lorelai
Rory: Oh, I can't believe you stopped.
Lorelai: I can't believe you wanted me to go.
Rory: There's no one around.
Lorelai: Now no one's around, but the second I run that light, a police car, four helicopters, the Canadian mounties and the crew of Cops jump out of a dumpster and I'm toast.
Rory: Paranoid.
Lorelai: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you, my friend.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: Hey, you know what's weird? A lot of the kids in here are calling you a valedictorian. Is that anything like a dirty skank, 'cause if it is I'll kick their plaid butts up and down the sidewalk. Were you named valedictorian?
Rory: Yes, and you know what that means? One more stupid speech that I have to write, that I have no time to write, but nevertheless, I have to write.
Lorelai: Hey, listen, my little Holly Hunter in Broadcast News, I'm gonna let you freak out and study like a mad woman and stress yourself out until finals, but once they're over, we are gonna celebrate big time... 'cause this is amazing.
Rory: Yeah, it is.
Lorelai: Okay, now go make Mommy nervous.