Lane: I have decided to make this whole Seventh Day Adventist College experience a good one. I'm gonna look on the bright side, find the silver lining, and make myself some lemonade.
Lorelai: Well, good for you.
Rory: The campus looks pretty.
Lorelai: Very pretty.
Lane: It's got two huge parks with gardens and lakes.
Lorelai: Two parks.
Lane: One for boys and one for girls. And you know, I had originally thought that this was gonna be a suffocating place with out of date rules and insane restrictions, but boy was I wrong. For example, curfew is up to 9:30. 9:45 if you're going for your Masters. Makeup will be permitted, as long as it identically matches your skin tone. And owning a Rolling Stones CD is no longer grounds for expulsion. You can work the demerits off in the campus clean-up crew.
Lorelai: There's a separate park for boys?
Lane: My life is over.

Lorelai: "Where's the ladies room?" "More coffee, please." "Does Antonio Banderas live near here?"
Rory: We do not need to know how to say "Does Antonio Banderas live near here?"
Lorelai: Oh, yes, we do.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: When we're in Spain, we need to know how to say, "Does Antonio Banderas live near here?" When in France, "Does Johnny Depp live near here?"
Rory: When in Rome, "Does Gore Vidal live near here?"
Lorelai: You know, you look like me, yet my ways are completely lost on you.

Lorelai: Hey, how important do you think it is to be able to say, "Help, I'm bleeding from the head"?
Rory: Just bring the phrase books.
Lorelai: No. If we learn all the phrases we need, then the phrase books are one less thing we have to lug around.
Rory: We will never be able to learn all the phrases in every language that we're going to need. Bring the books.
Lorelai: We can learn enough. Plus, doesn't everybody speak English over there anyway?
Rory: Ugly American, party of one.
Lorelai: Fine, we'll bring the books.

Lorelai: Every kid in that brochure was awkward and panicked. It looked like the Academy Award audience during Michael Moore's speech.
Rory: Hey, why don't you add the phrase "Just sit there and look pretty" to that list of yours there, okay?
Lorelai: I've gotta go back to studying. "Does that sexy guy in the Peugeot ad who had a bit part in Armageddon live near here?"

Rory: I've been up for hours.
Lorelai: Why? Did you have a bad dream? The one where you finally meet Christiane Amanpour and she's really stupid?
Rory: No, I realized last night that at this rate, I will never finish all the work I have to do.
Lorelai: What work?
Rory: "What work?" What work, she asks.
Lorelai: Well, you know me and that dippy Christiane, takes a little while to catch up.

Emily: Lorelai, do not get dramatic. Dinner is not ready, and even if it was, I would still not be able to invite you to stay because your father and I have plans tonight. We are eating quickly and then leaving.
Lorelai: To go where?
Emily: The Thompsons.
Lorelai: For what?
Emily: Book club.
Lorelai: What book?
Emily: Lovely Bones.
Lorelai: Did you like it?
Emily: It's not my taste but I respect the attempt.
Lorelai: Now I know where I get it from.

Rory: Where are you going?
Lorelai: I'm gonna drive in a circle backwards really fast to reverse the Earth's orbit to go back in time to before I made the insane decision to come here in the first place.

Lorelai: So, Souplantation...
Rory: Hang on, I'm almost at the end of this chapter. Okay, let the raving begin.
Lorelai: A room full of all you can eat food. Soup, salad, pizza, pasta, chicken wings, ice cream, rainbow sprinkles. How did I not know about the rainbow sprinkles?
Rory: I have no good answers for you.
Lorelai: We are going back with Tupperware.

Rory: Oh, I can't believe you stopped.
Lorelai: I can't believe you wanted me to go.
Rory: There's no one around.
Lorelai: Now no one's around, but the second I run that light, a police car, four helicopters, the Canadian mounties and the crew of Cops jump out of a dumpster and I'm toast.
Rory: Paranoid.
Lorelai: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you, my friend.

Lorelai: Hey, you know what's weird? A lot of the kids in here are calling you a valedictorian. Is that anything like a dirty skank, 'cause if it is I'll kick their plaid butts up and down the sidewalk. Were you named valedictorian?
Rory: Yes, and you know what that means? One more stupid speech that I have to write, that I have no time to write, but nevertheless, I have to write.
Lorelai: Hey, listen, my little Holly Hunter in Broadcast News, I'm gonna let you freak out and study like a mad woman and stress yourself out until finals, but once they're over, we are gonna celebrate big time... 'cause this is amazing.
Rory: Yeah, it is.
Lorelai: Okay, now go make Mommy nervous.