Paris: I packed my bags and was on the road before I remembered that parents don't own property in the United States anymore.
Rory: Since when?
Paris: Since the IRS red-foxed my father. The place in Asylum Hill, the Nantucket cottage - even the crack-house in Harlem that we converted into a co-op was sold to one of the Queer Eye guys.
Rory: Where'd they go?
Paris: They're going to wire me when they're safe.

Lorelai: Sookie, please, I am begging you, pull yourself together. I got no sleep last night, and I think I put my contacts in backwards.
Sookie: Rory's still mad at you, huh?
Lorelai: Hey, I'm not so crazy about her, either.
Sookie: It was a fight. Mothers and daughters fight.
Lorelai: No, we don't fight. We never fight.

Logan: And why the hell am I arguing with you? I don't want you back.
Paris: You, Logan Huntzberger, are nothing but a two-bit, spoiled, waste of a trust fund. You offer nothing to women or the world in general. If you were to disappear from the face of the earth tomorrow, the only person that would miss you is your Porsche dealer.
Logan: You wanna chime in here?
Rory: No, I think Paris has got it covered.

Paris: This is the kind of cold you read about in a Dickens novel. We should be in a workhouse or shilling for Fagin.

Rory: [on the phone] Oh, my God!
Lane: Are you all right?
Rory: I just got hit by a deer!
Lane: You hit a deer?
Rory: No! I got hit by a deer.
Lane: How do you get hit by a deer?
Rory: I was at a stop sign, and he hit me!

Rory: This is a violation of my civil rights.
Lorelai: You better do what John Ashcroft says or they may just follow us home.
Rory: Unbelievable.

Sookie: Ooh, Angelina and Brad had their baby. [gasps] Months and months ago.
Lorelai: Yeah, you're a little behind the times.
Sookie: This is the problem with having two kids under the age of 4. World events just pass you by.
Lorelai: Are you done with those favors?
Sookie: You know, I cannot believe Britney is driving with her baby on her lap like that. What is she doing with that guy, by the way?
Lorelai: Well, you'll be glad to know they've since broken up, although it turns out he was kind of a stabilizing influence in her life. Who knew?
Sookie: You're kidding.
Lorelai: Mmm-hmm.