Lorelai: [phone rings] Michel, the phone.
Michel: Mm-hmm. It rings.
Lorelai: Can you answer it?
Michel: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.
Lorelai: You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency.
Michel: [answers phone] Independence Inn, Michel speaking. No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

Dean: After school, you come out and sit under that tree there, and you read. Last week it was Madame Bovary. This week it's Moby Dick.
Rory: But why would you-
Dean: Because you're nice to look at. And because you've got unbelievable concentration.
Rory: What?
Dean: Last Friday, these two guys were tossing around a ball and one guy nailed the other right in the face. I mean, it was a mess. Blood everywhere, the nurse came out the place was in chaos, his girlfriend was freaking out and you just sat there and read. I mean, you never even looked up. I thought, "I've never seen anyone read so intensely before in my entire life. I have to meet that girl."
Rory: Maybe I just didn't look up because I'm unbelievably self-centered.
Dean: Maybe, but I doubt it.

Lorelai: Oh, you'll have to walk faster than that. You'll have to turn into frigging Flo Jo to get away from me.

Lorelai: This is about a boy. Of course! I can't believe I didn't see it. All this talk about money and bus rides. You've got a guy, and you don't wanna leave school.
Rory: I'm going to bed.
Lorelai: God, I'm so dense. It should've been my first thought. After all, you're me.
Rory: I'm not you.
Lorelai: Really? Someone willing to throw important life experiences out to be with a guy? It sounds like me to me.
Rory: Whatever.
Lorelai: Who is he?
Rory: There's no guy.
Lorelai: Dark hair, romantic eyes, looks a little dangerous?
Rory: This conversation's over.
Lorelai: Tattoos are good, too.
Rory: I don't wanna change schools because of all the reasons I've already told you a thousand times. If you don't want to believe me, that's fine. Goodnight.
Lorelai: Does he have a motorcycle? If you're going to throw your life away, he'd better have a motorcycle!

Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz?
Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.

Dean: I'm Dean.
Rory: Hi. Oh. Rory. Me. That's me.
Dean: Rory.
Rory: Well, Lorelai, technically.
Dean: Lorelai. I like that.
Rory: It's my mother's name, too. She named me after herself. She was lying in the hospital thinking about how men name boys after themselves all the time, you know, so why couldn't women? She says her feminism just kind of took over. Personally, I think a lot of Demerol also went into that decision. I never talk this much.

Rory: Hey, it's freezing.
Lorelai: What do you need? Hot tea, coffee?
Rory: Lip gloss.
Lorelai: Uh-huh. I have vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and toasted marshmallow.
Rory: Anything in there not resembling a breakfast cereal?
Lorelai: Yes. It has no smell, but it changes colors with your mood.
Rory: God. RuPaul doesn't need this much makeup.
Lorelai: Well, you're crabby.
Rory: I'm sorry. I lost my Macy Gray CD, and I need caffeine.
Lorelai: Oh, I have your CD.
Rory: Thief.
Lorelai: Sorry, and I will get you some coffee.

Luke: [sighs] Red meat can kill you. Enjoy.

Rory: God! You're like Ruth Gordon, just standing there with the tannis root. Make a noise.
Dean: Rosemary's Baby.
Rory: Yeah.
Dean: Well, that's a great movie. You've got good taste. Are you moving?
Rory: No, just my books are.
Dean: My family just moved here from Chicago.
Rory: Chicago. Windy. Oprah.
Dean: Yeah, that's the place.

Lorelai: Sookie, please, I am begging you, pull yourself together. I got no sleep last night, and I think I put my contacts in backwards.
Sookie: Rory's still mad at you, huh?
Lorelai: Hey, I'm not so crazy about her, either.
Sookie: It was a fight. Mothers and daughters fight.
Lorelai: No, we don't fight. We never fight.