Paris: You're just scared I'm going to make your life on the Franklin a living hell. Especially since I'm the editor and you're... Oh, what's the word? Not.

Luke: Here we are. It's pretty simple. This is the room. That's my bed. That's your bed for now, but the sheets are new. There's the bathroom, there's the closet, there's the dresser the phone, and over there is the kitchen. I've got Frosted Flakes.
Jess: Wow, that's grrrreat.

Paris: But hey, if you think this is below you, you can always wait until the next issue. You can just use this time to get a nice manicure.
Rory: That's okay.
Paris: Maybe get a massage.
Rory: I'll do it.
Paris: Aromatherapy. Smell like a peach for a few days.
Rory: I'll do it, okay? I'll cover the paving.
Paris: Okay, good. I guess that's it.

Lorelai: When a kid goes out, you have to ask where he's going.
Luke: Why?
Lorelai: Because you're responsible for him now. If he goes and knocks over a liquor store, it's going to be your fault.
Luke: If I had asked him where he was going and he actually had intended to knock off a liquor store, do you really think he would have told me?
Lorelai: If he's dumb.
Luke: He's fine. New topic.

Lorelai: Hey, I have a fabulous idea. What are you doing tomorrow night?
Luke: Why?
Lorelai: Why don't you and Jess come over for dinner? Sookie will cook, Rory will be there. It'll be a little, "Hey, welcome to Stars Hollow. See, everyone here is not straight out of a Fellini film" kind of an evening.
Luke: Okay, that would be nice.

Lorelai: I'm sorry I put you in this position.
Rory: That's okay. It's going on the list.
Lorelai: My God, that list is getting long.
Rory: You have no idea.

Luke: So listen, Lorelai, you met her today, remember? Anyhow she invited us to her house tomorrow night for dinner. Her daughter Rory, who you didn't meet, but you'll like 'cause she's a lot like Lorelai but she's got a slightly tighter grasp on reality. Anyhow, she'll be there. It'd be a chance for you to meet more people and so I... I said yes. [Jess gets up and leaves without saying a word]

Mrs. O'Malley: Well, I read everyone's article and they were all extremely well done. Snappy, informative, well-researched. Paris, you should be very proud of the team you've assembled here this year.
Paris: Thank you.
Mrs. O'Malley: I mean, when you've got a reporter who can take an incredibly mundane and seemingly unimportant subject like the repaving of the faculty parking lot and turn it into a bittersweet piece on how everybody and everything eventually becomes obsolete, then you've really got something. Miss Gilmore, I was touched.
Rory: I owe it all to Paris.
Mrs. O'Malley: I would strongly advise that next time you give Miss Gilmore something with a little more meat to it.
Paris: Oh, yeah, great idea.

Paris: I know it seems short notice, but I'd love it to lead off our first edition.
Rory: Mr. Medina?
Paris: He was the winner by a landslide. I'm sorry. Is there a problem? I mean, is there some reason why you wouldn't want to interview him? After all, you of all people should be able to get the most in-depth story out of him, especially since he and your mother are involved. They are still involved, aren't they?
Rory: Let's just leave my mother's personal life out of this, okay?
Paris: Oh, that sounds bad.
Rory: It's not bad. It's just none of your business.
Paris: Fine. You want the interview or not?
Rory: Yes, I want the interview.
Paris: Good. Get me something more than his favorite color, okay?

Lorelai: Hey, perfect timing. Sookie's about to break her own record for the most food served outside the Roman empire.