Luke: Okay, whatever. Even if there was something, which I'm not saying there was, she's a suit. Not my type.
Jess: Yeah, especially since she's not a monk.
Luke: Oh, I don't go out that much, is that what that's supposed to mean?
Jess: Take a look at a calendar. When was the last time you went out on a date? A year, two years ago?
Luke: Last month, wiseass. I went out with Joanna Cooper.
Jess: You gave her a ride home.
Luke: A ride home is the end of a date.
Jess: Only if you go on a date first.
Luke: I'm not gonna discuss this with you.
Jess: Suit yourself. I have to go meet Rory anyhow. See, I'm gonna go pick her up, spend a few hours actually being with her, then give her a ride home. That's called the end of a date.
Luke: Or I could stay open a few hours later which means you're here 'til ten. That's also called the end of a date.

Rory: You wanna learn to fish or not? Exciting, huh?
Lorelai: Oh, I can barely keep still. Chapter 1, technique. "For deep water fishing, an angler" – What's an angler?
Rory: That would be you.
Lorelai: Oh, better remember that. Okay. "For deep water fishing, an angler" – me, again – "can choose a wire line using a downrigger or a vertical jig. Whatever your technique, the other successful clue to attracting fish is the appropriate lure." Ooh, what about the sequined top I wore to the Christmas party?
Rory: Yes, I think that's exactly what he's talking about.
Lorelai: "For bottom feeders, consider smaller, darker patterned lures" – simple, yet elegant – "while in areas where the forage fish are cicso, you're limited to the larger, more flashy baits." I am telling you right now, the larger flashy baits are just gonna make me look cheap.
Rory: Okay, let's review – what do we know so far?
Lorelai: I need flashy baits if I'm going to invest in Cisco, unless I choose to cast a troll in my downrigger.

Luke: Why are you learning how to fish?
Lorelai: It's just something I wanted to do. Some friends of mine fish, and I thought if they can do it I can do it. And what if I am a really great fisher? Yeah, I mean, what if that's my calling, the thing that I am meant to do? And all this time I've been sitting here with the gift to fish and I am squandering it. It's like if Mozart walked right by the piano store and never played a note.
Luke: So you're gonna fish to fulfill your destiny?
Lorelai: That's right.
Luke: And you're gonna learn to fish to fulfill your destiny from a book?
Lorelai: Yes.

Luke: Okay, Thelma, Louise, possibly there's another way to learn to fish.
Lorelai: The Fishing Channel.
Luke: I fish.
Rory: Oh yeah, we've seen those boots thingies outside drying off.
Luke: Those would be called waders.
Lorelai: And I'm sure I'll be reading about waders soon in one of these cliffhangers here.
Luke: If you want, I can show you a few things, get you started, make sure you don't strangle yourself with your own line, the basics.

Rory: So what this time, trying to have me deported?
Paris: Oh, yeah, like I'm the one who called this meeting.
Rory: I certainly didn't call this meeting.
Paris: Save the act for Sundance, you little snitch.
Rory: I didn't snitch.
Paris: Said the weak-kneed turncoat.
Rory: Nixon's bad seed.
Paris: Daughter of Judas.

Luke: I mean, tell me why you're learning to fish.
Lorelai: Oh. I told you, some of my friends are going.
Luke: What friends? Sookie?
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Is Sookie going fishing?
Lorelai: Well...
Luke: Or Rory... did Rory suddenly get the overwhelming urge to dig for worms and stand in the middle of a lake at five a.m.?
Lorelai: Yes?

Lorelai: Could you please just make some coffee?
Rory: I'm not doing anything for you ever.
Lorelai: Don't be mad.
Rory: You set my alarm for 5:15 a.m.
Lorelai: I know, and I did it for purely practical reasons.
Rory: Which are?
Lorelai: My alarm is just not as reliable as your scream.
Rory: You will pay.
Lorelai: That's fine, honey. Now, coffee?
Rory: I am writing this in my ledger of all the crummy things you've done over the years, and when I leave this house, mark my words, you will pay!

Rory: Oh, I found the Mrs. Kim-approved makeup in the drawer, but let me tell you, since the last wedding, it has developed a smell.
Lane: A what? Oh, boy.
Rory: As I said, a smell.
Lane: Well, I've got the good stuff right here, right next to the Peggy Lee.
Rory: Seems appropriate.
Lane: I thought so.

Rory: It's okay not to like Jess.
Lane: I said I was happy for you.
Rory: I know.
Lane: God, I'm such a jerk.
Rory: You're not. Look, we're not always going to like the same things. Like, you like Smashing Pumpkins and I don't.
Lane: But that's only ‘cause you're close-minded and blind.
Rory: What can I say? They're not my angst.

Rory: I spent three days boxing all the stuff in the attic and you were going to call a charity and get someone to pick 'em up.
Lorelai: I made an appointment, the guy didn't show.
Rory: He didn't?
Lorelai: No, I don't think.
Rory: Unbelievable.
Lorelai: Look, I got bored after sitting there two hours, so I left a note saying the stuff was in the garage and he could leave a receipt, and I went to get some coffee.
Rory: These guys aren't just allowed to go into someone's garage.
Lorelai: Well, the note said it was okay.
Rory: How did he know that the note was authentic?
Lorelai: I wrote it on Powerpuff Girls stationery. Who'd he think was setting him up, Hello Kitty?