Zach: We're gonna be playing a gig next month, and I think you'd really get into it.
Lorelai: Oh, well, I'd love to get into it, Zach, but see, I have this medical condition where I can't listen to music.
Zach: You can't?
Lorelai: No. My ears, the hollow tubey thing inside is very tiny and it will literally explode if I listen to anything loud and musical.
Zach: That sucks.
Lorelai: I know. Thanks for the invite, I'm sure it's gonna be great. So, you guys have a good rehearsal. I'm gonna go on inside and write to Tipper. Great gal. See you guys later.

Lane: I still can't believe you guys are letting us rehearse here.
Rory: You can thank us in the liner notes.
Lane: Right under our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Rory: That's some good billing.

Dave: Listen, Lane, we need to talk a sec.
Lane: Sure.
Dave: Now that we finally have a real rehearsal space, we can get serious about the sound.
Lane: Absolutely.
Dave: Which means that I'm gonna need you to really step it up a little. I mean, you've got the potential, but you're sloppy. I need a clean roll on the toms but powerful, like Moon. I know you're a girl, but I need you to play like a guy.
Lane: I understand.
Dave: And if you can't, if that's too hard...
Lane: No, that's not too hard. I'll be better, I promise.

Alex: Okay, now this is the Sumatra blend. It's supposed to be a little sharper than the Colombian.
Lorelai: You know, this is pretty much what I thought heaven would look like. There might have been a unicorn in the corner, but basically... yeah, this is it.

Rory: Now, we are talking Dave taking you to the prom, right?
Lane: Of course. My mom loves him. Last week she let him sit in our pew.
Rory: No.
Lane: She made me move.
Rory: You've been replaced.
Lane: I'd be offended if I weren't so busy doing a happy dance. It's all working out so perfectly. By the time she says yes, she'll love him even more and then when I say I wanna go to the prom with him, it'll be like she picked him out herself.
Rory: You are brilliant.

Rory: So, tell me, your cousin getting married Saturday, what's his story?
Lane: James. Very quiet, kind of skulky, couldn't meet anyone here, so his family arranged to have a girl shipped over from the old country.
Rory: I hope they cut air holes in the box.
Lane: She doesn't speak a word of English and she's never met him.
Rory: Then she's gonna need some sparkles.

Rory: All right, since Paris isn't here...
Paris: Paris is here. Couldn't wait to jump in there and take over, could you?
Rory: Tell it to the Timex salesman.
Paris: My gavel, please?
Paris: I call this meeting to order.
Rory: I already did that.
Paris: Sorry I'm late, but I had some very important business to attend to. Business which I must now, unfortunately, share with all of you. At the beginning of this year, when we were sworn in as your government representatives, we placed our hand on a bible and we took an oath. An oath that stated that our behavior would be ethically and morally upstanding for as long as we were serving in public office. And that is why it saddens me greatly today to inform you that one of our own has forsaken that holy oath.
Madeline: I hate anything that starts with a speech.

Paris: I hold in my hand evidence accusing one Rory Gilmore of committing high crimes and misdemeanors.
Rory: What?
Mr. Hunter: Paris, what's going on here?
Paris: Miss Gilmore has been conspiring with the various factions of this school to weaken the efficacy of this administration.
Rory: You're really pathetic, you know that?
Paris: You'll have your chance to address these charges when I'm done.
Rory: What charges?
Paris: First on the list, espionage.
Rory: Espionage?
Paris: Gathering privileged information and divulging it to the enemy.
Rory: What privileged information? Prom colors are green and pink, pass it on?
Paris: Next on our list, the most serious crime – treason.
Rory: I'm sorry I talked about Jamie.
Paris: And having a big mouth. That's going on the list also.

Paris: I move to put to a vote the impeachment of Rory Gilmore.
Mr. Hunter: Miss Gellar, I'm sorry, but we do not impeach here at Chilton.
Paris: Why not?
Mr. Hunter: Because this is a student government.
Paris: Well, then, I'd like to put to a vote a resolution to instate the ability to impeach.
Mr. Hunter: No.
Paris: Then she should resign.
Rory: I'm not going to resign. You have the problem, you resign.

Lorelai: Hey, got any good stories?
Luke: Nope, sorry.
Lorelai: Ah, nothing? No crazy, colorful uncle? Best friend with a funny name?
Luke: Jeff Smith?
Lorelai: [chuckles] Skeletons in the family closet? War wounds? Funny shaped scars?
Luke: It really throws you off when Rory's late, doesn't it?
Lorelai: Big time. [Rory enters] Oh, yay, thank God!
Rory: Sorry. Didn't Luke keep you company?
Lorelai: Oh, he tried, but really, he's got nothing.
Luke: Thank you.