Lane: Okay, just one more time.
Rory: I have been telling you this story for an hour. It doesn't get dirty.
Lane: I can't help it. I'm obsessed. I'm totally living vicariously through you.
Rory: Why? You got kissed last weekend. Remember? You told me. That guy your parents set you up with. The one with the Lincoln Continental. What's his name? Patrick Cho.
Lane: Okay. Let's do a little compare and contrast here. You get kissed on the mouth by a cute, cool, sexy guy you really like and I get kissed on the forehead by a Theology major in a Members Only jacket who truly believes rock music leads to hard drugs.
Rory: Fair enough. You can live through me. But just remember that I have no idea what I'm doing.
Lane: I'm well aware of that.

Rory: Did you read that article in the newspaper about the polar ice caps melting?
Lorelai: Yeah, yeah. Ooh, big deal.
Rory: Fine, you pick the subject.
Lorelai: Okay, great. I was watching General Hospital the other day and they have a new Lucky because the old Lucky went to play something with a real name. So, the old Lucky had this girlfriend, Liz who thought that he died in a fire. So then they bring on this new Lucky and you're like, "Okay, I know that's not the old Lucky" because the new Lucky has more hair gel issues. Still, Liz was so upset about his supposed death that you could not wait to see them kiss, you know?
Rory: When do you have time to watch General Hospital?
Lorelai: Okay, let's get back to the point. What do you think about the whole Liz-Lucky kissing thing?
Rory: I think they're actors being paid to play a part so it's nice that they're living up to their obligations.

Lorelai: Are you crazy? You can't watch Willy Wonka without massive amounts of junk food. It's not right. I won't allow it. We're going in. [Rory stands still] Rory, it's fine.
Rory: It's too weird.
Lorelai: I'm gonna have to meet him eventually.
Rory: Okay, how about next year?
Lorelai: I'm going to be so cool in there, you will mistake me for Shaft.
Rory: There will be no interrogation.
Lorelai: I swear.
Rory: No kissing noises. No stories from my childhood. No referring to Chicago as ChiTown. No James Dean jokes. No father-with-a-shotgun stares. No Nancy Walker impressions.
Lorelai: Oh, come on.

Rory: That's my mom.
Dean: She's got energy.
Rory: Yeah, well, she's 90% water, 10% caffeine.

Lorelai: Rory is a smart kid. She's never been much for guys. The fact that she likes you means a lot. I don't believe she'd waste her time with some loser.
Dean: But you're watching me.
Lorelai: Sweetheart, the whole town is watching you. That girl in there is beloved around here. You hurt her, there's not a safe place within a hundred miles for you to hide. This is a very small, weird place you moved to.
Dean: I've noticed.
Lorelai: So, just know all eyes are on you.
Dean: Anything else?
Lorelai: She's not going on your motorcycle.
Dean: I don't have a motorcycle.
Lorelai: She's not going on your motorcycle.
Dean: Fine. She won't go on my motorcycle.
Lorelai: Curfew will be enforced. You will not detract from her schoolwork. And you're going to start handling those lemons better.
Dean: What?
Lorelai: Don't interrupt me when I'm speaking. I reserve the right to change, alter, tweak, or add to this list of rules at any time without any written notice.

Lorelai: You really like him, don't you?
Rory: Yeah.
Lorelai: Well, okay, then. Just calm down.
Rory: I just don't want to do or say anything else that's gonna be remotely moronic.
Lorelai: I'm afraid once your heart is involved it all comes out in moron.

Rory: Got it.
Lorelai: Score! You know, on the one hand, I'm glad it was in, but on the other hand, what kind of world do we live in where no one has rented Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory?
Rory: Well, we rented it.
Lorelai: Thank God for us.

Lorelai: One of us has got to do laundry tonight.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: Because I haven't had any clean underwear for three days.
Rory: So right now under your skirt you're wearing...
Lorelai: Not underwear.
Rory: Mom!
Lorelai: It's kind of nice actually. Breezy.
Rory: My role model, ladies and gentlemen.

Dean: You know, you can get two for $3.
Rory: Oh, really? Excellent deal.
Dean: You just had a desperate need for some cornstarch?
Rory: Yes, I have very important thickening needs, thank you. Nice apron.
Dean: Nice uniform.
Rory: Well, you know, I sewed the buttons on with silver thread, so that sets me apart from the crowd.

Rory: I guess I should get home.
Dean: Wait a second, you want a pop or something?
Rory: A pop?
Dean: Give me a break. In Chicago they call it pop.
Rory: Well, in Connecticut, we call it free soda. And, yes, thank you.
Dean: All right, guess what's in each hand, you get the soda.
Rory: Okay, the whole concept of a free soda is that it's free. You don't have to work for it.
Dean: Sorry, you got to sing for your supper.
Rory: Or your soda.
Dean: Guess.
Rory: Okay. In this hand you have- [Dean kisses Rory] Thank you. [runs out]