Emily: [answers phone] Hello? Gilmore residence.
Lorelai: Hey, Mom, it's me. I just wanted to leave you a message letting you know that unfortunately, I will not be able to come by tonight to take a look at your new curtains.
Emily: Lorelai, it's me.
Lorelai: So, sorry I missed you, but-
Emily: You didn't miss me. For heaven's sakes, I'm right here.
Lorelai: Hello?
Emily: Hello? Lorelai?
Lorelai: Hello?
Emily: Hello?
Lorelai: Huh. That's weird. I don't know if your machine just cut me off.
Emily: Is something wrong with this phone?
Lorelai: Anyway, uh, something came up, and I just have to take a rain check on the curtain check. [Emily keeps talking] I'm sure they're beautiful. No one knows how to pick out curtains like you. You're the curtain queen.
Emily: Hello? Lorelai, can you hear me?
Lorelai: Anyway, have a good night, curtain queen. Give my best to Dad. Bye.
Emily: Lorelai? Hello? Hello? [Lorelai hangs up]
Lorelai: See? I told you it would work.

Rory: [beepers sound] Uh-oh.
Lorelai: "Uh-oh" good or "uh-oh" bad? I guess there isn't really an "uh-oh" good, is there?

Christopher: I thought our stomachs should start adjusting to french cuisine, so I got croissants and caf au lait.
Lorelai: I thought caf au lait was spanish.
Christopher: No, it's french for "coffee and milk." "Lait" is "milk."
Lorelai: Really? I thought it was "cafe ole!" like, "coffee! All right!"
Christopher: You're kidding. You're not kidding. You are. You're kidding. I can't tell whether you're kidding.
Lorelai: I'm a woman of mystery.

Christopher: You know, you might want to try repeating some of those words in French.
Lorelai: No.
Christopher: We leave for Paris in two weeks.
Lorelai: Yes, but I don't have to actually speak French. I just have to sound French. That way, if the Parisians find me just another uncouth American, I can tell them my sad story. "I was born in Marseille, and my parents were killed in a tres tragique accident. And so I was sent to the States and adopted by the evil Gilmores, who refused to let me speak French, but I never forgot the accent of my mother country."
Christopher: That's a complicated backstory.
Lorelai: I've led a complicated life.

Kirk: What kind of sandwich is that, Luke?
Luke: Ham and cheese.
Kirk: Is it stinky cheese?
Luke: Cheddar.
Kirk: Because you really don't want to pack April a lunch with stinky cheese. By lunchtime, the whole bag will smell, and people won't believe it when she says it's just the cheese. They'll think it's her. They'll think she's stinky.
Luke: Eat your breakfast, Kirk.

Kirk: Lulu! She's smothering me!
Luke: Smothering you?
Kirk: Everywhere I go, there she is. I'm sitting at the movies. Who's sitting next to me? Lulu. I go out to dinner. Who's sitting across from me? Lulu. I'm hanging out on the couch, watching TV. Who's right there next to me?
Luke: Your mother.
Kirk: And Lulu. And at least mother respects my personal space. Sometimes when you're watching Antiques Roadshow, you just don't want somebody tickling your arm.

Lorelai: Mother, it's parents' weekend. I'm a parent. That's why I'm here. I'm a parent.
Emily: And I'm a grandparent.
Lorelai: Right. A grandparent, not a parent.
Emily: A grandparent is a type of parent.
Lorelai: No, it's not.
Emily: A grand piano is a type of piano, is it not?
Lorelai: Well, you got me there, Riddler, but I hope that logic works when I crash grandparents' weekend.

Kirk: I am. Giving Lulu the old heave-ho, hitting the eject button.
Luke: Kirk?
Kirk: I owe it all to you, buddy.
Luke: Me?
Kirk: You inspired me. I look at you, and I think, "this guy's doing it right. Slave to no master." You come home at 3:00 in the morning, no one cares. You want to eat dessert for dinner, no one cares. You walk around in tube socks and tighty whities, no one cares. No one cares what you do or where you go. So, what do you say, Luke? You want to be my wingman, Goose to my Maverick? [sings] You never close your eyes anymore When I kiss your lips And there's no tenderness
Luke: Listen, you pinhead, you should be kissing the ground that Lulu walks on. Why that sweet girl lets you within a hundred miles of her is beyond me, but she does. You are the luckiest man on the planet to have a girl like that looking out for you and caring about you. And if you say so much as one unkind word to her, I will personally break every bone in your body. You got me?

Lane: Tell it like it is, sister. Besides, later tonight, when we Boggle, which is what I was told we'd be playing tonight, it is your butt that is going to be kicked, because I've been studying my 7-letter words that sound made-up but aren't. "Palfrey". P-A-L-F-R-E-Y. It's a saddle horse for a woman.

Lane: Okay, now, it's your move, darlin', unless you'd rather discuss zymurgy. Z-Y-M-U-R-G-Y, the branch of applied chemistry dealing with fermentation.