Paris: I have a Rory story. When I was running the paper, I was dying to do an article about everybody's asinine obsession with Boho Chic, but Rory had the guts to tell me that the idea for my article was trite and passe, because that's who Rory is: honest, direct, and to the point. Like, when you all turned on me and decided you didn't want me in charge anymore, and you all chewed me up and spit me out, Rory was the one who broke the news to me. Thank you, Rory, for being the one person with integrity among a collection of cowardly back servers. [everyone else is silent]
Rory: These are all such great stories.

Paris: Well, now we're both ousted leaders. Welcome to club Nixon.

Lane: This is what she does to me. She gives me this look, and I get all panicky and start sweating. Once, at a church picnic, someone had taken a bite out of six deviled eggs and put them back on the platter. My mother accused me of doing it, and I almost confessed!
Zach: But you hate deviled eggs.
Lane: That's the point! After she gave me that look, I wasn't sure. Maybe I had taken those bites. She gets in my head. It's like Korean voodoo.

Paris: What are you taking, by the way?
Rory: Taking?
Paris: Just remember, tricyclic antidepressants are better than your monoamine oxidase inhibitors, since those are for panic attacks. It doesn't look like you're there yet.
Lorelai: Well, I have no plans of going there.
Paris: You will. I know when I was finished as editor, I went into a major tailspin. Can you tell?
Rory: You masked it so well with your generally gloomy disposition.

Paris: Oh, and Lexapro is fast-acting, but side effects are weight gain and noticeable drop in sexual appetite. Of course, with Logan gone, that's moot.
Rory: Always a pleasure, Paris.

Lane: Kirk, what are you doing?
Kirk: Trying to feel a kick.
Lane: You're gonna feel a kick if you don't get your hand off my stomach.
Kirk: So, I don't know if you've decided where you're gonna drop this little load, but I highly recommend Woodbury Memorial, where I was born.
Lane: Good to know.
Kirk: The maternity suites there are primo, and they let the mother hold the baby post-delivery as long as she wants. Explains a lot about the relationship between me and my mother.
Lane: Yes, it does.

Lane: Twins, Zach. We're having twins.
Zach: Yeah, it's heavy, but we can handle it.
Lane: Twice as many mouths to feed, twice as much to clean up after...
Zach: Yeah, all that, plus, there's gonna be prejudice, but we can fight that.
Lane: What?
Zach: And they have surgeries now, babe. This does not have to be permanent.
Lane: What doesn't?
Zach: As long as the babies don't have some vital organ attached, they can be separated... easy-breezy.
Lane: What are you talking about?
Zach: Until the operation, we'll just get specially made clothes.
Lane: Zach.
Zach: Unless they're attached at the head. Then they can wear just about anything. I mean, we just slip it on from the feet up.
Lane: Zach, we're having twins, not Siamese twins.

Christopher: It's not like we're being obnoxious and asking someone to take a picture of us in front of Jim Morrison's grave.
Lorelai: Which, by the way, I promised Rory we would do.

Lorelai: First we have to go to Harry's bar and smoke gauloises cigarettes and get in a fight about cubism and gesticulate wildly.

Lorelai: Crummy Europe. Crummy time change. We switched to the metric system, why don't they switch to our time zone?
Christopher: We didn't actually switch-
Lorelai: I know!