Christopher: Somebody gets a lot of mail.
Lorelai: Yeah, well, I'm a popular gal. Also, my system is, I only open my mail once a month.
Christopher: Your system is to open your mail once a month?
Lorelai: Twelve times a year. You know, because if you open your mail more than that, you get a lot of mattress fliers and bills and another bill. This way, I open it once a month, and I get letters from people who still write letters and shampoo samples and fun stuff.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Bonjour, Rory.
Rory: Well, if it isn't the orphan from Marseille.
Lorelai: C'est moi. What are you doing?
Rory: Heading to class.
Lorelai: Class?
Rory: Yes, class, where they teach you all the college learnin'.
Lorelai: You're a senior. I thought no seniors went to class before noon. Nerd alert! Nerd alert!
Rory: Says the woman saying "nerd alert!"

Lorelai: [on the phone] You know who'd make a great mascot? Paul Anka.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: I'm not sure he's the Ivy League type, though. He might need more of a hacky-sacking, poetry-reading, tie-dyeing kind of place.
Rory: Mom!
Lorelai: Like Reed or Oberlin, where the air is sweet with the scent of patchouli.
Rory: Mom, I'm not missing the beginning of this lecture.
Lorelai: Nerd alert! Nerd alert! Nerd alert!

Lorelai: Grass is just not this green. Not outside of "Pleasantville," it isn't.
Christopher: So, what exactly are you saying?
Lorelai: I'm suggesting they brought in sod.
Christopher: You suspect sod.
Lorelai: Yes, yes, or spray paint. Maybe they spray-painted the grass when they spray-painted these trees 'cause, I mean, there's autumnal foliage and then there's autumnal foliage. It's over the top, people.
Christopher: You're onto them. Hey, you think Yale piped in this crisp fall smell?
Lorelai: Uh, yeah, because Yale is crafty, Yale is smart. Yale is Yale, after all.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Hey, what is with all the a cappella? There's a cappella, a cappella, morning, noon, and night. I'm not sure I can take that much a cappella.
Rory: Then you should avoid arches. A-cappella groups tend to hang out under arches. Arches and any other places with good acoustics.
Lorelai: Thanks for the tip.
Rory: If you hear a pitch pipe, run. I got to get back to work.
Lorelai: Okay, we're gonna have brunch with the provost or on the provost, it's still unclear.

Lorelai: What is with your name tag?
Christopher: What do you mean?
Lorelai: It's in the middle of your chest.
Christopher: So?
Lorelai: So, you're supposed to wear it off to the side. Who wears a nametag in the middle of their chest?
Christopher: Superman.
Lorelai: Superman's "S"? That was not a nametag. That was an emblem.
Christopher: So, this is my emblem.
Lorelai: "Hello, I'm Rory Gilmore's dad, Christopher" is your emblem?
Christopher: Yes. Yes, it is.
Lorelai: I'm gonna have to ask you to walk 15 feet in front of me.

Lorelai: Look at this propaganda. Belgian waffles, cloth napkins. I've had breakfast here before, and it was paper napkins and American cereal all the way. Yeah. Lox, capers, itty-bitty bagels? Pack of lies.

Lorelai: She's like a dictator, only cute and nonviolent. And instead of a country, she has a newspaper.

Christopher: We had a few close brushes with a cappella.
Lorelai: That was a narrow escape. We were taking a shortcut on the way to the lecture hall, and we almost shortcutted our way into a group of guys wearing tuxedos singing "zombie jamboree."

Lorelai: I heard a bone crack, several bones cracking. Crack, crack, crack. It was like fireworks.
Christopher: Rugby is a violent sport.
Lorelai: I guess the fact that an ambulance was parked by the side of the field before the game even started should've been my first clue.
Christopher: They don't park ambulances next to tetherball matches.
Lorelai: I can't believe we lost. It was so violent. I guess they were just violenter.