Lane: You went shopping.
Rory: Yes, I did. I got a mooing cow-shaped timer for Sookie some Cardio Salsa tapes for Michel, a book for Dean.
Lane: You got Dean a book?
Rory: Yeah, Metamorphosis.
Lane: Metamorphosis?
Rory: It's Kafka.
Lane: Very romantic.
Rory: I think it is romantic.
Lane: I know I've always dreamed that some guy would get me a really confusing Czechoslovakian novel.

Lane: You have to look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you. Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume?
Rory: Yeah.
Lane: Okay. To me that said, "Hey, Mom, you work hard. You deserve something fancy." To my mother, it said, "Mom, here's some smelly sex juice. The kind I use to lure boys with." And resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer.
Rory: Yeah, but-
Lane: Just imagine that you actually gave Dean something really romantic, and he gave you a football. Your hypothetical romantic present is saying that you really like him and his present is saying, "Hey, man, let's just be friends."
Rory: And you're saying that this book-
Lane: Is a Czechoslovakian football, yes.

Lorelai: I feel like this is one of those moments where I should be remembering all the great times I had with my dad. You know, the time he took me shopping for a Barbie or to the circus, or fishing. My mind is a complete blank.
Luke: Well, I'm sure it happened.
Lorelai: No, it didn't. We never did any of that. He went to work, came home, read the paper, went to bed. I snuck out the window. Simple. He was a very by-the-numbers guy. I was never very good with numbers.
Luke: I'm sure he loves you.
Lorelai: You know... My dad is not a bad guy.
Luke: I'm sure he's not.
Lorelai: He lived his life the way he thought he was supposed to. He followed the rules taught to him by his non-fishing, non-Barbie-buying dad. He worked hard. He bought a nice house. He provided for my mom. All he asked in return was for his daughter to wear white dresses and go to cotillion and want the same life that he had. What a disappointment it must have been for him to get me.
Luke: I can't imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment.
Lorelai: I bet you'd buy a Barbie for your daughter.

Richard: Now, all of our stock information is in there. Plus all of the insurance information.
Emily: Now, if I could just find you some different sheets.
Richard: Our will is in my lower left drawer. Dennis has a copy if there's a problem.
Emily: Maybe I could get Dava to bring some from home.
Richard: Emily, this is serious. We have to be practical.
Emily: I'm gonna have Dava get those sheets.
Richard: Emily, listen to me. If I die-
Emily: No! Richard Gilmore, there may be many things happening in this hospital but your dying is not one of them.
Richard: But-
Emily: No! I did not sign on to your dying, and it is not going to happen. Not tonight, not for a very long time. In fact, I demand to go first. Do I make myself clear?
Richard: Yes, Emily. You may go first.
Emily: Good. I'm gonna get you those sheets. [Richard holds Emily's hand]

Luke: I've kept my father's entire store just the way he left it.
Emily: Really?
Luke: Well, I turned it into a diner. But I kept all his stuff on the walls, his pictures in the office. Even the "Hardware" sign.
Emily: I'm sure he would've appreciated having his life's work being honored like that.
Luke: He would have called me a damn fool.

Lorelai: [on answer machine message] We're not here. Speak if you must.

Luke: Okay, we're supposed to follow the blue line around the corner and then we should be...
Lorelai: Where's The Scarecrow when you need him?

Rory: I wish you'd change your mind.
Lorelai: It's not my mind that needs to be changed.
Rory: I don't think she meant it.
Lorelai: Oh, she meant it.
Rory: Well, maybe she thinks she meant it at the time but I bet she won't mean it when I show up without you.
Lorelai: Without a map to follow that reasoning, I say, "Take a hat, it's cold outside."

Rory: You just wanna hold a grudge.
Lorelai: Yes, it burns more calories.
Rory: That's not true.
Lorelai: Yes, it is. How do you think your grandma got those legs of hers? She's not exactly a StairMaster gal.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: Never saw her on the running track.
Rory: Okay.
Lorelai: I don't remember the Country Club organizing a Tae-Bo class.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Yes, Joe, I know it's Friday night, but I ordered my pizza an hour ago. No, I did not hear about the delivery van. Huh. Well, I am very sorry to hear that. Was it a fairly new van? Great. As with most tragedies in life there comes a time when you need to pick up and move on. So what's the next phase of the delivery saga? Mm-hmm. Well, how long until your brother's back with the Razor scooter? Okay. Uh-huh. Alright. Just call me when he gets there. Bye, Joe. [sighs]