Emily: I'm not allowed to go home.
Lorelai: What?
Emily: She's banished me from my own house.
Lorelai: Gran?
Emily: She's gone mad. This morning she announces that she's hosting a meeting of her bitter old biddies club at our house tonight and she needs the entire day to prepare because the house is in such a shambles.
Lorelai: Nice, subtle.
Emily: Then I was handed a list of chores and asked not to come home until at least six o'clock because I would simply be in the way.
Lorelai: Mom, she's only staying with you for a few days.
Emily: I have to buy her flowers. She doesn't like mine, they're too tall. It's ostentatious to have flowers that tall.
Lorelai: Actually, I've been meaning to mention that to you myself.
Emily: I have to get new guest towels. I have to get new highball glasses. I have to get four very specific types of cheese. And I have to get a slide projector because they're going to view slides of potential acquisitions for the museum that they're on the board of.
Lorelai: Okay, Mom...
Emily: Of course, I haven't the faintest idea of where to find a slide projector. I feel like I'm going insane.

Kirk: People of Stars Hollow, are you ready to rumble? Then let's get it on. And the puck is down as the first quarter begins. Period, sorry. First period begins, my bad.

Kirk: Number twelve has it now. He's skating, he's skating. My bet is he's going to try to whack it into that net thingy, but that's conjecture at this point. Now it's going the other way and they're hitting it between them. Number seven has it. Now number three. Now seven. Three again. Seven. Ten's got it now.
Dean: Kirk, just to let you know, some of the guys - not me, you know – but some of the guys say they're gonna rip your head off if you don't shut up, okay?
Kirk: We'll be pausing for a short break.

Kirk: Well, ladies and gentlemen, much like the Israelites of Yore, the Stars Hollow Minutemen languished in the desert for forty years. But tonight, there was no Promised Land, no New Canaan, only a humiliating five to one defeat at the merciless hands of the West Hartford Wildcats. So it's back to the desert for the Minutemen, perhaps for another forty years. Of course, by then, I'll be seventy years old. A lot of the rest of you will probably be dead. Taylor, you'll be dead. Babette, Miss Patty... that man there in the hat.

Rory: [leaving a message] It's me. I just wanted to let you know that this is the last weekend I spend sitting around like an idiot hoping you'll call, okay? I'm not going to be that girl. From now on, I want a plan. I mean, a real plan with a time and a place, and I'm tired of hearing "Let's hook up later". What does that mean anyway? What's later? How do I set my watch to later? Later doesn't cut it anymore, got it? And, yeah, you know, maybe I am spoiled. But guess what? I like being spoiled. I plan to go on being spoiled. And if that doesn't sound like something that you can or want to do, then fine. I'm sure you'll find another girl who doesn't mind sitting around cleaning her keyboard on a Friday night hoping you'll call, but it's not going to be me. Oh, yeah, this is a message for Jess.

Jess: Hey. Figured I'd find you here. I mean, you say the word hockey, you say the word Rory, right?

Lorelai: So that was quite a gathering.
Richard: Yes, it was.
Lorelai: It would make a great Christmas story. I mean, I know it didn't happen at Christmas, but it's the kind of thing that would happen at Christmas, so it's not like if you told someone it did happen at Christmas, they'd go, "Really? 'Cause it doesn't sound like a Christmas story." Thanksgiving would probably work also. [Richard sighs] Listen, Dad, I know you're a little upset with Mom right now, and I'm probably out of line in saying this, but you might wanna think about cutting her some slack. She's really missed you lately. You work so much and then you're helping Gran in your free time, which is totally understandable, but still, it's hard. As much as Gran likes you, she tends to be a littler rough on Mom, and I think Mom just kind of snapped. She'd never do anything like that intentionally. You do know that, Dad, right? Dad? [Richard laughs] Okay, apparently it's two-for-one flip out night at the Gilmore house.
Richard: Do you really think he was wearing a track suit?
Lorelai: I don't...
Richard: Well, I wonder if he was wearing Nike's also.
Lorelai: "Just Do It" takes on a whole new meaning, doesn't it?
Richard: I guess I've got a new daddy.
Lorelai: Maybe he'll take you to ball games.
Richard: Oh, we could get matching jogging suits. Oh, if only I could've seen Emily hiding in the bushes. It's like a play by Moliere.

Taylor Doose: So, I have talked to every member of my family and we agreed that you can hold the rooms on my credit card, but everyone must check out with their own.
Lorelai: Got it.
Taylor Doose: Have we gone over the room arrangements yet?
Lorelai: Closing in on a hundred and fifty times.
Taylor Doose: The Doose clan is very, very particular about their accommodations. We are light sleepers and are prone to night terrors, and several of us are very allergic to bed clothing, so it's very important that we are...
Lorelai: On the first floor or near a fire escape. Yes, Taylor, I know, it's all taken care of.

Lorelai: Yes, but see, when you left me there, I was alone, and now, look, I'm no longer alone.
Rory: Taylor found you?
Lorelai: Yes, and we've since embarked on hour one hundred millionth of planning the special Doose reunion.
Rory: I'm coming back over there right now.
Lorelai: Yes, and then you are going to get very sick and be unable to feed yourself so that Mommy will need to take you home and stay by your side until the Doose reunion is over. Say goodbye to Jess.
Rory: Bye, Jess.
Jess: I'll call you later.
Lorelai: Oh, limp a little if you can.
Rory: What malady do I have that makes me limp and lose ability to feed myself?
Lorelai: It's French.
Rory: Okay.

Richard: So, Rory, how are things at Chilton?
Rory: Great, great, everything's great.
Richard: And Lorelai, things at the inn are good?
Lorelai: Mmm-hmm.
Richard: Oh, Rory, please slow down and chew your food properly.
Lorelai: I'm always telling her that. Pass the butter.
Rory: Pass the peas.
Lorelai: Pass the pork.
Rory: Pass your plate.
Richard: I'm sorry, is there a race going on I don't know about?