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‘The Big One’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Gilmore Girls: The Big One

316. The Big One

Aired February 25, 2003

As Rory and Paris anxiously wait to hear from Harvard, they both vie to give an important school speech. Meanwhile, Lorelai runs into Max Medina again.

Quote from Paris

Paris: I've been going over it in my head. I mean, it seemed to go pretty well. The fire was nice and thank God he didn't try to put on any ridiculous make-out music, and then it just happened. I was actually fairly surprised at the timing of it because I wasn't wearing anything particularly alluring, and in the moments just before the act...
Rory: Oh, God.
Paris: We were actually discussing modern day Marxism in America, which is not what I would have deemed a "come and get it" sort of conversation, but nevertheless, he came and got it, and I have to figure out what that means to me on a psychological level. So, I thought maybe if you and I could have sort of a healthy debate about it, I could come to some sort of reasonable conclusion about how I should be feeling right about now. So, come on, talk. What do you think?
Rory: I...
Paris: Are you pro?
Rory: Well...
Paris: Con?
Rory: Well...
Paris: Undecided?

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Quote from Paris

Rory: "Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then do something. Don't just stand there, make it happen. " Lee Iacocca. "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." Malcolm Forbes. "Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." Oscar Wilde. These are only three of many countless views on the expansion of the human mind. I personally believe in all of them, and fortunately for me, so does Chilton. An institution not just because of age and standing, but because of ideas. Because it encourages ideas and it will accept nothing less than everything you have to give. This is the place where our lives start.
Paris: You know, it's funny, me standing here before you right now. I've thought about nothing else for four years but this school, this big important school with all of its history and tradition and really super teachers. And I dedicated myself to it completely, heart and soul, believing in its power, believing in its ability to get me where I needed to go. Harvard. I thought of nothing else. Many of you out there can attest to that fact. I was on my way and nothing could stop me. And here's the really funny thing, after four years of slaving away, I go home today and I found this. I'm not going to Harvard. I got the tiny envelope, the one that reads, "Sorry, Paris. We're not interested. Try again next year. Love, Harvard." And the thing that's really funny here is, who in the world deserves to go to Harvard more than me? Have you seen how hard I've worked over these past four years? I mean, can anyone here believe that I'm not going to Harvard? I can't. I'm not going to Harvard. I am not going to Harvard. I had sex, but I'm not going to Harvard.
Rory: Okay.
Paris: And I have to tell you that if you asked me which of those two events I thought would be the least likely to happen, it would not be the not going to Harvard.
Rory: Thank you and good night.
Paris: I'm being punished. I had sex, so now I don't get to go to Harvard.
Rory: Paris, come on.
Paris: She's never had sex. She'll probably go to Harvard. She's a shoe in. Pack your chastity belt, Gilmore, you're going to Harvard!
Rory: Come on!

Quote from Paris

Paris: Well, all I've gotta say is, after all the trouble this sex thing has caused me, I better have been good.
Rory: That's the perspective I know and love.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: She'll be on C-SPAN if she does.
Richard: Very good.
Rory: It's not like anyone would watch it.
Lorelai: Yes, they will. You're a hell of a lot more interesting than that usual shot they have of all the white men walking around that big empty chamber with the numbers all over them.
Richard: That's a televised house vote, and I find that fascinating.
Lorelai: It's like watching the Men's Warehouse security camera.

Quote from Kirk

Kirk: You know what I've noticed?
Lorelai: It wouldn't be any mail in there with our names on it, would it?
Kirk: I've noticed people don't slow down anymore.
Rory: Guess I've got time to tie my shoes.
Lorelai: Yes, well, cobble yourself a new pair Daniel Day Lewis.
Kirk: No one stops to smell a nice flower or look at a puppy.
Lorelai: You're absolutely right.
Kirk: No one stops to ask how you're doing... [holds large envelope] is your family well, did you see that game last night?
Lorelai: Yeah, people suck.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Why'd you get new menus?
Luke: It was time.
Lorelai: But I had made little doodles with my name hidden in them on each one of the old ones just like Hirschfeld.
Luke: Sorry.
Lorelai: It took me years to hit every menu. And these have super heavy plastic over them. How am I gonna doodle?
Luke: Has it ever occurred to you that the super heavy plastic is there to discourage the doodling?

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Three more salads – who needs three more salads?
Rory: One was enough.
Luke: Well, Nicole said...
Lorelai: Nicole said.
Luke: There wasn't really that much for her to eat on the menu, so I just...
Lorelai: Oh, you added three more salads just for Nicole. When I asked you to add chili-topped Pringles, you said no.
Luke: And I stand by that.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: I can't believe Nicole made you take off the Monte Cristo. She's got you menu-whipped.
Luke: She does not have me menu-whipped. I took off a disgusting ridiculous sandwich that no one has ever ordered, including the three of you.
Rory: But just having it there made us feel like we always could.
Lorelai: It was comforting.
Rory: Like soup.
Lorelai: Exactly. It was comforting like deep-fried ham and cheese soup.
Rory: And even though I never ordered it, I talked about ordering it, haven't I?
Lane: On several occasions.
Lorelai: So you've not only eliminated a sandwich, you've eliminated a conversation piece.
Rory: Now what will we talk about?

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: You love doing school things.
Rory: I don't love doing school things when it involves the entire school staring at me while I'm doing 'em.
Lorelai: You had to give your vice presidential acceptance speech in front of the entire school.
Rory: Yeah, but I had to do that.
Lorelai: Oh, so you're just gonna go through life only doing what you have to do.
Rory: Well, no.
Lorelai: Because a person who wants to be a foreign correspondent for a living should probably embrace the opportunity to practice her speechin' skills in front of a crowd.
Rory: You had the motherly edge going there until you threw in the "speechin' skills" comment.
Lorelai: Yeah, you know what I mean.

Quote from Sookie

Lorelai: [on the phone] I don't understand, what happened?
Sookie: Well, I came home and I got some flowers and I chilled some glasses and I put some music on and I opened a bottle of champagne, and the cork broke the window so I had to clean up the glass, and then I taped some cardboard over the hole, and then I knocked over the bottle of champagne, so I had to get out the mop.
Lorelai: My finger's hitting the fast forward button, hon.
Sookie: So, he came home and I handed him a beer, and I smiled and I kissed him and I told him he was gonna be a daddy.
Lorelai: And then he did what?
Sookie: Then he got out the calculator.
Lorelai: What?
Sookie: He's been crunching numbers for two hours.

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